Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
KessyKandi 0
Wait a moment.....your dad was electrocuted??? That sucks!! Be concerned for him- unless he crushed your tiny ribcage. Oh, and I'm underweight and I'm like 100lbs. Do you have small bone structure? Because 85lbs is tiny- especially for a guy!
nowayisthisreal 4
You need a goddamn burger or ten.
quraishakrueger 4
wait. youre a man. youre old enough to get on fml so i assume youre like, a teen at least? why the **** are you 85 pounds?!
malters 9
who cares how old op is their father could have been seriously injured and all you care about is a shit load of weight landing on you
MisterMuffinz 13
jesus! eat some meat!!
jrsgreenfire257 0
Why do you know his weight?
william818 0
wow. I think the fail here is your weight... and presumed age.
rainbowbarf5 0
he's the one that got shocked, fhl!
macskapingvin 0
All these numbers make this sound like a maths question.
genquad4 0
how about the better question? WTF were you doing so close?
crazyaznjenny 0
Damn boy you tinyyyy