By ollie - 26/09/2018 13:30

Today, I spent 30 minutes listening to my crush complain about a stalker that's been sending her flowers and love poems almost every week. It's me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 1 786
You deserved it 4 267

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

Well it’s obvious you are going a bit over the top so stop that and just tell her how you feel. Looking back to my youth I regret the things I didn’t do more than the ones I shouldn’t. At least you can escape the limbo of not knowing how she feels. You either get a girlfriend or you know to move on. Both are better than what you are now. Just don’t admit to the flowers!

What is even the point of a secret admirer anyways? Nobody in their right mind is going to be attracted to someone if they don't know who it is.

Comments

Well it’s obvious you are going a bit over the top so stop that and just tell her how you feel. Looking back to my youth I regret the things I didn’t do more than the ones I shouldn’t. At least you can escape the limbo of not knowing how she feels. You either get a girlfriend or you know to move on. Both are better than what you are now. Just don’t admit to the flowers!

Not that what you said was wrong in any way, but please elaborate on how it is over the top.

if it was every single day of every single week then its over the top once a week just shows calm persistance.

Every week, flowers and a poem. While they don’t say how much the flowers cost or size and the poems content to have it go on for weeks with knowing who can go from romantic to creepy. Not to mention confidence (not arrogance) can really help in attracting a partner. If you don’t have the confidence in yourself to profess your feelings after the first few gifts it’s not going to stick well with them.

It's over the top if you are putting up "every week" and not bothering to tell the object of your affection anything about yourself. This makes it sound like it's been months. It's creepy as hell if you ask me, to start sending flowers and what I'll bet is crappy rhyming couplet poetry every week to someone for multiple months. Anonymous gift on Valentine's? Maybe, if it's a simple bouquet. But if you're buying 2 dozen roses every week for weeks on end, it's awful.

This used to be called a secret admirer and thought to be romantic. These days, it's called a stalker and creepy.

What is even the point of a secret admirer anyways? Nobody in their right mind is going to be attracted to someone if they don't know who it is.

Back when people weren't in their right minds.

Mystery is supposed to make a man sexy. At least that's how it was two decades ago.

the point of a secret admirer is to have them know the real you before they can simply look at you and just assume who you are. ( e.g. girl might see a tall well built guy and think, oh he prolly stomps on puppies when in reality they can be a drama major playing oberon in the next play) nearly everyone is shallow and doesn't realize it they just sugarcoat their shallowness

What happened to nuance? It's gone, just like common sense. You got my up vote.

It's romantic when it happens a few times and is leading to a reveal. Not when it keeps going on long enough for people to be bothered by it. Then it does become creepy.

A secret admirer doesn't play a long game of multiple weeks. It was being a stalker back in the 50s too if you didn't pipe up within a week or two. The whole point of sending a gift from a secret admirer was to gauge the excitement of "omg who could it be?!?" and then reveal who it is... Not stay a secret.

Flowers and poetry are so outdated. These days, it's all about dick pics.

Yea.. the frequency is a little bit stalker-ish/creepy.. depending on how long it's been going on for.

When people do things to/for people the persons reactions often change depending the person. if she knows it's you she might not think its creepy because right now she thinks it's some random person. if shes spending 30 mins telling you everything it might mean that she trust you. tell her the truth, the best gift we can ever offer someone and it's free.

Hey, at least she’s talking about you! All press is good press!!

I'm guessing she knows it's you, and this is her way of saying "Please, stop. I'm not interested."

Your intentions were good! But if it is going on too long or over the top it might feel very stalkerish. The point is to find the right time to step out of anonymity. Just tell her "I really like you and wanted to brighten your day, not make you feel uncomfortable. Sorry it didn't come across as intended." (Sorry, not an English speaker myself, my vocabulary/grammar is flawed! But I hope you understand me.)

The moment she told you this made her uncomfortable is the moment you reveal it was you. Not telling her will make it more uncomfortable for her when she inevitably finds out.

then say sorry I'll stop. 20 yrs ago it was a sign of love nowadays you have to do extensive research so you don't get charged. funny how the old fashioned courtships are considered crazy and obsessive these days. I've learned don't even bother with love you might just end up in jail.