Today, my dad attempted to fix a power outlet. He managed to shock himself with 120 volts and fall backwards, landing on top of me. I am 85 pounds and he weighs 290 pounds. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML
Today, my father was pruning the tree in our front yard. I was helping him collect the falling branches. At one point, a branch fell and I was under it. My father jumped to push me out of the way. Instead he pushed the branch into my face. FML
Today, my dad ran over my foot with his work truck. FML
Today, my dad gathers so much static electricity from almost everything that he does that I've become paranoid and scared to touch him at all. He thinks I hate him now. FML
Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML
Today, my dad was fixing my wardrobe and pushed too hard, causing stuff to fall from the top shelves. I saw it happen with my own eyes, but he's dead-set convinced that it was some kind of poltergeist fucking with him, and now he doesn't want me to go in my room. FML
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him I was going to jump off the roof. He told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
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Top comments
theblackhannah 0
wow..gain some weight?
allplayedout 20
unrelated, but how can you only weigh 85 pounds? I'm a girl and havent been so small since I was ten. are you eleven or very short?
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Comments (220)
DRock525 0
these^
merexbear 0
are you old enough to have a Fml account? lol
b1ondiee 0
I am a 12 year old girl that weighs 85 , and im skinny but not anorexic . some people are just short as well , im average , it is possible to weigh that much and not be anorexic , may i also remind you that you that you have no idea of how short this person is or if they just burn calories really fast. also , ya so what if there young , who cares . ? so it is possible . everybody just needs to shut up and deal with it kaaay . and whoever you are im sorry about what happend , and hope ur both okaay .
ghostychi 9
What guy weighs 85 pounds?!? Are you anorexic?
Kua_Mei 0
I'm not overweight, but this FML makes me feel rather insecure. I'm a 13-year-old girl and nearly twice your weight.
b1ondiee 0
there's a guy in my class who's like 75 pounds and hes 12
AnnyAnarchy22 0
One gain some weight your way too small and that's like really gross and two why were you standing behind him that's just asking for trouble
k9luver13 0
wow you must be like 10 years old or waaay too skinny my love
ohmek 0
Your dad's a candidate for the Darwin Awards.
sjoe789 0
win!