Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
Feared 9
Your comment literally made me shit myself inside out.
SkoomaKi 28
You should say "I'm literally going to kill you if you don't stop saying literally. Literally".
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Comments (165)
DjeePee 25
Ah, the hard life of being a grammar nazi... So familiar.
Ugi 27
It's not so much grammar as the desire to actually communicate something. When someone uses "literally" to mean "figuratively" or "metaphorically" they are using it to mean the reverse of what it actually means. If we all went around using words to mean the opposite of what they really mean then no one would have a clue as to what anyone else was saying! It is, on occasion, possible to communicate effectively without perfect grammar. Sometimes the result is clumsy or even has the wrong meaning but often it can be done. However, for the sake of effective communication, everyone has to agree on what a word means. Otherwise chaos ensues.
reddudeover 2
The hard knock life of being an anal retentive, pedantic douche.
Jewnut 0
um people change the meanings of words all the time. were not confused are we? I'm pretty sure if we stuck with one proper meaning for words we would all be talking like we were born in the 18th century
wlddog 14
Changing the meaning of a single word isn't the problem. We develop our culture in a similar way. But when we change several words at once, without giving everyone a chance to adapt to said changes, then you would in fact be speaking nonsense, Liberally.
Ugi 27
The rate of change needs to be less than one complete revolution every lifetime otherwise people stop being able to talk to each other! Obviously many words have changed meaning somewhat, or even completely, over many generations but "misuse" now spreads so fast that meaning changes within a person's lifetime. That is what causes the breakdown in understanding.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Get over it.
tony1891 22
just literally tell him to literally shut up... literally.
ILoveFluttershy 3
How about you literally smack some sense into him?
micahsmommy 13
Make him watch the episode from "How I Met Your Mother" where Ted goes off on Robin for using Literally incorrectly. Lesson learned the fun way.
shrdlu 28
Add "literally" to the list of words misused nowadays. I read where someone described a wave as "ten feet tall - not literally, but actually."
SqueakyChipmunk 22
List: Like Umm Imply Infer Your You're They're Their And now, Literally.
nofearjenshere 12
You forgot 'there' (:
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Oh shit. RUN.
Ozuru 11
Okay guys, the literally jokes are literally getting annoying.
Beta_guy 6
you can have fun and misuse the word ironic, that be what anger's him up lol
ryu7 0
Lol that was pretty funny, I think you need some anger management classes
perdix 31
The misuse of the word "literally" is one of my pet peeves, but the worst part is that usage committees are start to accept its common use as a general intensifier. They are caving in by saying that if enough people use it wrong, it becomes right! You should ask your colleague what his friend's intestines looked like.
wenwenno 4
Is the word literally starting to sound strange to anyone else now?
muFilter 19
It's not wrong to use a word figuratively, though, and it never was; it's simply a stylistic choice that is no more wrong or right than the use of sarcasm. Of course it may not be to your taste... Also, the process whereby things that were actually "wrong" are gradually accepted as "right" because of common usage is one that drives the evolution of culture. Ideally the really crappy things that somehow make the cut won't stand the test of time.