Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Be quiet
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
I mean…
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Words have meaning
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Whipping boy
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Power trip
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
TW: Gross
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
Top comments
Feared 9
Your comment literally made me shit myself inside out.
SkoomaKi 28
You should say "I'm literally going to kill you if you don't stop saying literally. Literally".
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Comments (165)
courtenator 0
Look up mad tv, literally. It'll probably make you laugh.
punxroxr87 7
im not seein the problem, he's using the term in a form of emphasis but not literally true. words hav more then one meanin, try to kno them all before u post sumthing where u can look in the wrong too, just saying :
TcheQ 12
I envisage you saying comments like "really? that must have been painful. and gross". Small comments like these that make people convinced it's your personality actaully change them. And that's how I got a coworker to stop saying 'virtually'. Hope it works for you :P
Shade1982 21
[Webster's dictionary] lit·er·al·ly adverb ˈli-tə-rə-lē, ˈli-trə-lē, ˈli-tər-lē Definition of LITERALLY 1: in a literal sense or manner : actually <took the remark literally> <was literally insane> 2: in effect : virtually <will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice — Norman Cousins> So, looking at all the replies, not a whole lot of people own a dictionary. Using the word literally in this way is actually correct...
honeybeeki 14
Literally get over it.
ZomBoy86 2
oxford dictionary changed the definition to this word a few years ago and so OPs coworker literally used the word correctly. unfortunately.
GnaR_KiLL5150 12
First world problems
UltimateFlavor 8
He might be using it as a term of exaggeration? :)
bopersonn 13
Calm down bro
ArybellaHope 8
Some people just don't understand their native language. It's ok. :)