Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
Feared 9
Your comment literally made me shit myself inside out.
SkoomaKi 28
You should say "I'm literally going to kill you if you don't stop saying literally. Literally".
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Comments (165)
dannykilljoy 4
Oh shut the he'll up and quit whining. (but I will literally get a large number of dislikes for this)
Blooblibloo 4
Ever heard of the word "hyperbol" OP? Or "exaggeration" maybe? Don't glorify yourself by losing your head over a word that you think all those other people so less intelligent than you missuse. People know what literally means, so as they know what exaggeration means.
iwadasn 33
The word is "hyperbole," actually, and it's a figure of speech. Since "literally" is the opposite of "figuratively," saying something literally means that you're not using any figures of speech, including hyperbole.
Blooblibloo 4
Ok, still work as an exaggeration doesn't it? There is a difference in the language you speak and the one you write. Most of people won't use all the rules while speaking in informal context in order to give more rhythm to what they are saying. Or should we all speak like books to friends? I like literature and languages, but god I think it'd be very boring.
Arrawyn 12
That's literally hilarious. My sister does that an it drives my brother crazy, the reactions are hilarious
Peatothesea 0
YDI for working minimum wage. Go get a job that pays a little more and you'll have colleagues that are a little more educated.
Ninjasaurus18 9
Lol, Grammar Nazi, much? But yeah. It bugs me too, when people screw up their English. Like my little brother (12 years old!!!) says 'inside' rather than 'in'. Like: "This year I'm inside Mrs. Whatsherface's home room!"
GoldenGrizzly 7
homeroom* And, he is using it correctly. He is INSIDE her homeroom.
MoogleSam 8
'Literally' in that case is an exaggeration and is perfectly acceptable in English. Your anger is therefore unjustified and you might want to look into anger management if it 'drives you insane' despite being an acceptable use of literally.
personThingy 13
No, using "literally" as an exaggeration is not proper. By definition, you can't figuratively use the word literally.
sundayporch 2
By definition, you can: 1: in a literal sense or manner : actually (took the remark literally) (was literally insane) 2: in effect : virtually (will literally turn the world upside down to combat cruelty or injustice — Norman Cousins)
downtime 13
It being acceptable or not in 'modern' English does not suddenly make the individuals frustration unjustified. I would be grammatically correct in saying 'period' at the end of my sentences too, but it wouldn't make the anger of everyone having to listen to that shit 'unjustified'.
Shade1982 21
It's in the dictionary, not just accepted. So, yeah, this person may be frustrated, but there is no reason for it, so it kinda is unjustified...
sonnyyx 6
Literally can be used that way and still be grammatically correct. It's called a hyperbole.
darthtrey 0
Win
pexy_fml 16
what a life !!
titzenpitzer 9
someone discovered Parks and Recreation....you can't blame him, it's funny
ImTheAlpha 30
It annoys my teachers when we say "like" every give words.