Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
Feared 9
Your comment literally made me shit myself inside out.
SkoomaKi 28
You should say "I'm literally going to kill you if you don't stop saying literally. Literally".
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Comments (165)
go_Banannas0814 0
Chill the **** out.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
**** the chill out. You see that? That was strange and irrelevant comment. That is all.
PawnShopPenguin 4
I literally just pissed myself reading this...
kandi_kid69 15
You might want to invest into some diapers if you can't control your bladder.
gracehi 33
I HATE that shit too! Once someone told me Labor Day was "literally" around the corner, and I said, "No it's not! If I go around the corner, I won't find some midget squatting there named Labor Day!"
Sai_Run614 7
It most have smelled pretty bad then.
blindboy224 3
Alright that's enough adding insult to injury...... Litterally!
Skittles_Rawr 8
I literally ******* hate those people
Skittles_Rawr 8
Dammit... Everyone stole my joke x) x
KingCeltic77 18
I think you're supposed to use the word practically for those situations instead of literally. Am I right.
dougierocks 13
Sounds right to me... Could you see him when he said it?
AnhedonicRightNo 1
Literally is misused intentionally. Saying figuratively just doesn't have the same impact. The point is to use a metaphor rather than a simile. To say it was like a blizzard has less impact than to say it was a blizzard and the same applies with figuratively and literally. Either is acceptable.
unknown_user5566 27
Just tell him you literally think he's an annoying, incompetent person. Maybe then he'll understand its true meaning. FYL OP, I hate when people have no common sense.