Today, my colleague yet again misused the word "literally." It's driving me insane. I have to work opposite him and hear him say things like he's just "literally shit himself inside out." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my coworker keeps loudly saying things like, "Oh, now THIS!" If I don't ask, "What?" she pouts. If I do ask, she tells me, at length and with very bad grammar, how every one of our colleagues and partners is either stupid, rude or out to get her. FML
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, I finally noticed that my new coworker, with whom I have to share an office, starts every sentence with, "I mean…", then a pause, then says whatever he has to say. I can't un-notice it now, and it's like hearing nails on a chalkboard. FML
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss yet again said she was "literally dying", after she watched a funny video online. Long story short, I'm now on her shitlist because I couldn't help but point out that she clearly wasn't dying, and that her ranting was distracting me from doing actual work. FML
Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, as if having diarrhea at work wasn’t bad enough, my office’s aggressively flushing toilet sprayed me with my own liquid shit. FML
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Top comments
Feared 9
Your comment literally made me shit myself inside out.
SkoomaKi 28
You should say "I'm literally going to kill you if you don't stop saying literally. Literally".
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Comments (165)
lisey517 2
It's not a misuse. According to M-W.com, "1 : in a literal sense or manner : actually 2 : in effect : virtually usage Since some people take sense 2 to be the opposite of sense 1, it has been frequently criticized as a misuse. Instead, the use is pure hyperbole intended to gain emphasis, but it often appears in contexts where no additional emphasis is necessary."
CmlJ63 5
Hahaha in your face OP!! :)
owo_fml 9
I'm sorry. The fact that this comes right after perdix's post makes it difficult to accept as correct.
lisey517 2
Yeah I totally made up what the dictionary says just to oppose the post above me. People complaining about literally being "misused" is one of MY pet peeves.
pandaRanda 0
Thank you. You've just stated what I've been thinking the whole time.
wubbazugg 5
Grow up. Put your ear plugs in, and continue work.
reddudeover 2
45 - I couldn't agree more, it's literally hyperbole.
reddudeover 2
Your life is so ******... damn it where did I out that diminutive violin.
npearson5290 4
If you are going to be a grammar nazi toward others, you may want to clean up your own posts first. :) just throwing it out there.
dford22 1
What if he really is doing all those things...
reddudeover 2
I seemed to have misplaced my tiny little *****, I usually give them, but not now I guess.
PYLrulz 17
He literally needs some sense smacked into him (and a thesaurus will probably help)
RedCrow 0
Literally 90% of the comments here literally have literally at least literally written in them literally at least 2-3 times, Literally!
sougstad 7
Tough life...literally
groupleader 7
Figuratively speaking, that's funny.