Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML
Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML
Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put him outside. Unhappy with the situation, he leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile-vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML
Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML
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Top comments
CitrusGirl 0
That cat's a pussy.
aryan_chris 0
Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...
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Comments (296)
cupcakemonster10_fml 0
awwwnn I'm sorry, dealing with a deceased pet is hard :( hope u can pull through :) fyl..
Taz_the_Spaz 0
what did you do to the toast?
RezaDupontDC 0
Ooo, at least it was a quiff-pop.
Jazmyn0318 0
Lmao @ #79. Also... dats fukkd up wat happen to ur cat. Tho completely hilarious... fukkd up.
tjsomethin 9
Solution: Toaster oven.
ipwnlosers 4
What happened to your face..? (I'm talking about your profile picture)
Stupidpeopleanno 5
Because of this FML I'm seriously considering robbing a bank with a toaster. Me: On the ground, now! Get down I said! I've got a weapon and I'm ready to use it! Gimme all the money in the safe or you'll get it! *Puts toast in toaster and waits five minutes. Then aims at bank teller.* *Two freshly toasted loaves of bread hit the teller* Me: See what I meant? He died for laughing at me! Now gimme all the money! Or else! I brought 2 packages of bread and I'm ready to use 'em!
docscientist 10
Way to make it just sad, instead of a funny situation causing a sad outcome.
shelbyjee 0
hahaa I'm sorry that is sad but really unexpected
Zebidee 9
Schrödinger's Toaster?