Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 497

You deserved it 4 479

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 600

You deserved it 8 665

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 856

You deserved it 4 377

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 293

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 660

You deserved it 96 586

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 506

You deserved it 784

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 398

You deserved it 757

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 4 445

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 858

You deserved it 4 146

Next

Top comments

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

XoOxKaiRaWrxOoX 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:24

along with two sides toast...

MIZZIMANI310 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:34

that's soooo kool

twirlingqueen4u 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:35

I like what u did there. maybe that person should take over the company. ;)

wettcherry 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:36

I feel bad 4 u but this is hilarious. especially sum of these comments, wow. sorry 4 ur lost but I, cant, stop, laughin!!

twirlingqueen4u 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:38

I like what u did there. maybe that person should take over the company. ;)

sexybeastsexybea 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:41

awww... that's really sad. sry op.

twirlingqueen4u 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:43

I like what u did there. maybe that person should take over the company. ;)

MR1865 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:45

Your cat did not die of heart attack. No offense but if you knew anything about veterinary medicine you would know cats cannot physically get heart attacks. Your cat dying as the toaster went off, just a sad coincidence.

cybermolly10 7

Saturday 29 January 2011 22:35

I just assumed you were wrong, until I googled that. Cats very rarely get heart attacks because they aren't susceptible to coronary blockage. And that is what I learned today.

BabyBlaze 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:46

What a pussy. Haha.

riverrat0195 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 19:50

I'm sorry for your loss but that's hilarious!

8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Awkward Shopping My ex Family Relatable Racism Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Animals Cats Cute Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Alcohol Coworkers Mental health Health Psychology Cops Neighbours Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 431

You deserved it 4 436

Today, while at a restaurant on a date, I spilled red wine on the white tablecloth. The waiter came over with a new one, saying, "Don't worry, it's not the first time someone's spilled wine here." My date leaned over and whispered, "It's the first time someone's spilled it on me, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 145

The Top

Today, I was messaging a girl on a dating app. Things were going well so I thought I'd ask her to meet. She had listed hiking as an interest 3 times on her profile so I suggested we meet at a state park. She told me she doesn't hike on a first meet and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 890

You deserved it 690

Today, someone in Fedex typo'd "KZ" for "NZ" and sent our fencing weapons to Kazakhstan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 459

You deserved it 261

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said, "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 215

You deserved it 2 533

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 565

You deserved it 3 744

Today, I was walking home down a small street while listening to my iPod. I really got into the music, and started to dance really badly, only to realise there was a car following me, trying to get past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 225

You deserved it 31 686

Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 59