Intimacy: Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice...

By FamilySecret - United States

Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58690

You deserved it

4789

Favorite

Intimacy

Dangling modifier

Dementia or hate? You decide

Workout

By firethorn - United States

Today, I opened my Father's Day present from my mother-in-law. It was a glamor shot of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35995

You deserved it

3566

Favorite

Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5979

You deserved it

509

Favorite

By carla - France

Odorama

Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19500

You deserved it

10654

Favorite

By Will - United States

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27842

You deserved it

5047

Favorite

By supapimpin - United States

Today, my wife of four years revealed to me that she once had sex with six men at once back in college. Apparently she still fantasizes about it when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38022

You deserved it

3793

Favorite

By ewww - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41788

You deserved it

4190

Favorite

By theboywithlonghair - United States

Today, I decided to go get my hair cut because it was getting a bit long. I told the lady that I wanted it way short and she replied "Why? You will look like a guy sweetie." I am a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45900

You deserved it

6881

Favorite

By Chris - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

331

You deserved it

5002

Favorite

By bloated - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9745

You deserved it

2500

Favorite

By markderanjer - United Kingdom - Ealing

Today, I found out that not only is my girlfriend enough of a superstitious twat to believe the world is going to end on December 21st, she actually thinks it's an acceptable excuse to go sleep around with other men. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34029

You deserved it

3409

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Atlanta

Today, I should be spending my birthday with my boyfriend of 8 months. Instead he's visiting his ex, who's pregnant with a baby that "may or may not be" his. FML.

I agree, your life sucks

49034

You deserved it

6430

Favorite

By freed - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

47512

You deserved it

12238

Favorite

By ali927truthh

Wrong size

Today, when I finally got delivered the new kitchen table that I ordered online a week ago, I found out that it was actually a kitchen table for a dollhouse, as I forgot to check the size. FML

I agree, your life sucks

742

You deserved it

2544

Favorite

By ThunderThighs - United States - Flemington

Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38105

You deserved it

20404

Favorite

By booboo300

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

841

You deserved it

2214

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14395

You deserved it

37055

Favorite

By tiffylueg

Today, my allergies are killing me. I took a Benadryl to help, but the allergies are still here. I'm now chugging Mountain Dew at 9:30 in the morning to keep from falling asleep at my desk. Thanks for nothing Benadryl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12153

You deserved it

1483

Favorite

By OverweightTeen - Canada

Today, I added some of my own money to the tip jar in the Subway I work at to make myself look less pathetic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12944

You deserved it

24835

Favorite

By Radgirl - United States

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17327

You deserved it

58378

Favorite

By Itchy

Today, I found out I'm allergic to soil, pollen, dust, mold, the colors green, yellow, orange, black and grey, most metals, wood, carpet, drywall, most hygiene and beauty products, and plastic. Basically, I was told to avoid the entire planet and everything man-made. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6303

You deserved it

659

Favorite

By Lily

Today, I did a sprint in gym class. Despite being the skinniest in the class, I ran slower than everyone else, including two morbidly obese people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2056

You deserved it

2378

Favorite

By srhoa01

Today, while at school, some jerk shot me in the foot with a BB gun. While in agonizing pain, I yelled, "FUCK" as loud as possible. A teacher walked by, oblivious to the fact I had just been shot with a BB gun and wrote me up for, "Disrespectful language". FML

I agree, your life sucks

16200

You deserved it

1574

Favorite

By SchoolSucks - United States

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46284

You deserved it

3192

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Mankato

Today, as my mom was getting ready for a date, I told her that I think it's too early for her to date, since she divorced my dad only a week ago. She then said, "Don't worry, I'm only in it for sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks

28989

You deserved it

4425

Favorite

By hairdresser - Australia

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33489

You deserved it

4023

Favorite

By rejected4ever - United States

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28485

You deserved it

4179

Favorite

By NotoriousSRJ - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35854

You deserved it

4282

Favorite

By unbirthday - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39967

You deserved it

2933

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3123

You deserved it

271

Favorite

By Brittany - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks

12876

You deserved it

37924

Favorite

By Oopsie - United States - Saint Albans

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29368

You deserved it

3755

Favorite

By supervisor - United States

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

I agree, your life sucks

32780

You deserved it

18143

Favorite

By Anonymous

Asshats everywhere

Today, while driving to work, an idiot pulled out of a junction without looking and wiped me out. I'm now in hospital with two broken legs, looking at employment pages because I didn't give work "enough notice" about my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5245

You deserved it

234

Favorite

By Anonymous

No Chick-Hating on Easter!

Today, I proposed to my boyfriend of 13 years. He broke up with me because "Chicks can't propose, that's gay!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

5288

You deserved it

698

Favorite

By LadyDeadpool88 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

I agree, your life sucks

59829

You deserved it

7260

Favorite

By sickkid - United States

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40968

You deserved it

4710

Favorite

By Ruby Lore

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5429

You deserved it

332

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/5/2020 05:00

Stained

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1323

You deserved it

159

Favorite

By SinkyBalls - Canada

Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27613

You deserved it

2795

Favorite

By cheated - Australia

Today, I found out my ex boyfriend who recently cheated on me and broke up with me for another girl, has herpes. Guess how I found out? FML

I agree, your life sucks

41087

You deserved it

4505

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By InVenereVeritas | 0

#2020974 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:07

By olbrocko | 0

#2021005 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:11

COMMENTS

By InVenereVeritas | 0

#2020974 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:07

USAF_girl | 3

#2022015 - Saturday 29 January 2011 17:53

That is just plain nasty! He has some serious mommy issues......eeeewww.

drcool41 | 0

#2022449 - Saturday 29 January 2011 19:54

at least it wasn't a picture of his dad

drcool41 | 0

#2022452 - Saturday 29 January 2011 19:54

at least it wasn't a picture of his dad

jongface | 0

#2023217 - Saturday 29 January 2011 23:10

oedipus complex . . .

samandian | 0

#2023523 - Sunday 30 January 2011 1:34

technicaly not an oedipus complex is the story Oedipus hates him self for f*****g his mom and having kids she stabbed her eyes out... how did he get the pic any way... if she gave it to him who's messed up in the head now?

ratso820 | 0

#2023954 - Sunday 30 January 2011 5:28

photoshop his fathers head on it and put it back

ratso820 | 0

#2023957 - Sunday 30 January 2011 5:28

photoshop his fathers head on it and put it back

Pawned71 | 0

#2024129 - Sunday 30 January 2011 6:45

Speaking of OEdipus

JennaMason | 6

#2024149 - Sunday 30 January 2011 6:53

good one ;)

Evolution95 | 0

#2024580 - Sunday 30 January 2011 10:31

wow jenna u are really hot!!

flammenhund | 4

#2024646 - Sunday 30 January 2011 11:49

its obviously a picture from the internet.

sparkz2010 | 0

#2024669 - Sunday 30 January 2011 12:17

six feet under the garden

jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2025136 - Sunday 30 January 2011 15:08

Ahahaha its funny because your a MILF

jrsgreenfire257 | 0

#2025141 - Sunday 30 January 2011 15:09

Comment 60...

swagerific227 | 0

#2027963 - Monday 31 January 2011 6:54

maybe his mom's a milf

Drikstar | 2

#2032277 - Tuesday 1 February 2011 10:42

haha

Drikstar | 2

#2032282 - Tuesday 1 February 2011 10:44

haha to 204^^ and I agree

toatsMAgoats | 5

#5831605 - Sunday 19 January 2014 0:37

Dude your a creep.

By Miss_Michaela | 10

#2020976 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:07

O.M.G. You sure the photo is of his Mother?

banana_buddy | 6

#2022567 - Saturday 29 January 2011 20:14

WINCEST!!!

KayBizz | 0

#2023704 - Sunday 30 January 2011 2:55

that motherfucker!

breena25 | 0

#2024221 - Sunday 30 January 2011 7:35

MILF! MILF!! TOTAL MILF!! or in this case: MHLF

AZMarine | 0

#2024618 - Sunday 30 January 2011 11:12

OP, ydi for looking

TheShadesMaster | 0

#2027588 - Monday 31 January 2011 3:57

I smell a 3some

Dennisse_47 | 17

#2191922 - Thursday 17 March 2011 3:49

hahaha 170, I laughed harder than I should have when I read that. lol

By sappy0 | 5

#2020980 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:08

Holy God OP, just RUN FFS!!!

By olbrocko | 0

#2021005 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:11

justinfailz | 0

#2024058 - Sunday 30 January 2011 6:14

lmao

ahhmusic | 8

#2174734 - Saturday 12 March 2011 2:48

I love you for saying that :)

By imaboss_69inital | 0

#2021009 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:11

was she hot?

By stingray626 | 0

#2021019 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:12

that is down right disguisting u gotta pervert on ur hands hahaha
u should hide it nd see how he reacts lol

Hunter148Cassie | 0

#2024120 - Sunday 30 January 2011 6:42

There's no "I" in disgusting.

Hunter148Cassie | 0

#2024126 - Sunday 30 January 2011 6:44

There's no "I" in disgusting

Link_Asriel | 0

#2024619 - Sunday 30 January 2011 11:14

Actually there are two "I" in disgusting

xX_LilSammie_Xx | 4

#2189722 - Wednesday 16 March 2011 17:55

win.

By daydreamerxo | 5

#2021025 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:12

ew...

By stingray626 | 0

#2021027 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:12

that is down right disguisting u gotta pervert on ur hands hahaha
u should hide it nd see how he reacts lol

By lilmzdana | 0

#2021028 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:13

WTF?!?! ... run away noooww

By TheIndieStar | 7

#2021032 - Saturday 29 January 2011 16:13

Oedipus complex?

ZeeBest86 | 6

#2027471 - Monday 31 January 2011 3:15

I was thinking Sigmund Freud...