Animals: Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a...

By Anonymous - 29/01/2011 08:09 - France

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 496

You deserved it 4 479

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/04/2011 02:21 - United States

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 599

You deserved it 8 665

By roze198765 - 04/08/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 855

You deserved it 4 377

Bad day?

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 11:01

Today, after waking up to a spilled bottle of juice on my clothes, I heard my ex died. Whilst baking cookies to distract myself, I melted my work laptop on the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 290

By thebravelittletoaster - 20/03/2011 20:32 - United Kingdom

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 9 851

By 12693 - 24/10/2012 17:35 - Australia - Perth

Today, there was a horrible smell in my kitchen. I tried to find the source, but failed and had to leave for the day. That night, my brother informed me that the smell was coming from a dead mouse stuck in our toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 566

You deserved it 2 105

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 21:19 - United States

Today, I ignored my cat's incessant meowing, and pushed him away every time he wanted to be petted. The next time I walked downstairs I found him dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 96 585

Poor Despereaux

By Squeak - 06/02/2017 08:00 - United States - Fort Bragg

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 505

You deserved it 784

By a cat named tiddles - 30/03/2017 00:00

Today, my cat looked like it was about to puke, so I put it outside. Unhappy with the situation, it leaped on to the kitchen window ledge and squeezed in through the open window, only to projectile vomit mid-leap all over the kitchen counter. I found a hairball in the butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 397

You deserved it 757

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 4 444

RIP

By Anonymous - 07/04/2011 07:11 - United Kingdom

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 858

You deserved it 4 146

CitrusGirl 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:06

That cat's a pussy.

aryan_chris 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 16:10

Toasters a new weapon for murder now. What is the world coming to...

Comments

misterjez 15

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:04

lmao nice

QueenPersephone 9

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:06

This made me laugh. When I first read the fml I thought 'If only he had toasted just one piece'.

brt3420 13

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:07

I'm sorry but I actually laughed at this a lot. I don't like cats but it sucks it died but it's a cat so I laugh

scivolare 1

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:11

oh my goodness I'm so sorry! now I feel bad everytime my kitties get scared. need to go hug them now.

yeppers6502 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:20

I honestly don't understand how this is an FML.

Doortje 29

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:42

His/her cat DIED, you moron.

thelastavailable 13

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:22

OP is a selfish git for thinking about their own sorry life when the poor cat has just snuffed it.

AllieTheAwesome 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:23

omg that was awesome!! (") (x.x) (")

i_wuz_nver_here 31

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:26

win.

enoughgrace 4

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:34

that was a great comment #17.

hahayousucks 3

Saturday 29 January 2011 18:39

thats more funny than a fml

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I asked a girl at work out, who'd claimed she was single. Not ten minutes later, our boss fired me. Turns out that girl is actually his side chick he cheats on his wife with, even though she’s 19 and he’s 48. Not illegal, just scummy as hell, and he fired me out of jealousy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

Today, I overheard my soon to be step-daughter telling her friend on the phone that she hopes that mine and her father's wedding is just a big joke, and that he isn't really going to go through with it. I just dropped five grand on a dress and venue. She's in for a surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 053

You deserved it 3 116

The Top

Today, I took a night train for the first time. I woke up at 4 am to the beeping of smoke alarms and thick white smoke everywhere. The train had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 094

You deserved it 173

Today, my dad vehemently refused to let me go on vacation to France with my best friend, because he watched Taken a few months ago and apparently forgot that it's just a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 675

You deserved it 4 637

Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 008

You deserved it 5 904

Today, I spent my day alone while my parents and siblings were at school and work. Trying to be helpful, I cleaned out the fridge, did 5 loads of laundry, worked outside, fed the pets and made dinner for the entire family. The evening was spent hearing complaints of how wrong I did everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 472

You deserved it 3 296

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 038

You deserved it 7 023

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 215

You deserved it 5 556

Same thing different taste

Bad day?

Poor Despereaux

RIP

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