Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
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Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend peeing in the cat's litter box. I'm the one who has to clean it out. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I thought my boyfriend wanted to be romantic by pouring a bath, getting in then calling me in. As I get comfortable, he stands up and gets out. At the same time, I notice yellow water. He'd pissed in the tub for a joke. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
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Top comments
junkboy 4
dump him...
beedlebum 0
Disgusting, I'd dump someone that nasty. He's basically a toddler. You'll probably always be cleaning up after him...
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Comments (198)
yourmurderscenex 13
that is just gross. make him pee outside if he wants to act like a damn animal. PS my cat pee's in the toilet and has never missed.
zp5 4
i'm not trying to be a smart-ass, but if you see what you wrote, you'd notice you said that her boyfriend is going to act like an animal, then you gave an example of an animal acting the right way (well i guess if you think that an animal peeing in the toilet is acting the right way). just saying.
yourmurderscenex 13
i was trying to prove the point that my cat can piss in a toilet better then him. by the way i think my cat teaching herself how to use a toilet it pretty freaking awesome, less cleaning on my part.
zp5 4
i know, that does sound pretty cool. but don't think i was like saying your comment wasn't true, i was just stating the way i thought of the comment.
yourmurderscenex 13
lol, you're good. now that i think about it you are right, im telling her to treat him like an animal but yet i said that my cat can piss in the toilet. what i meant by my comment was "hey make him piss outside if it wants to act like an animal, but wait my cat is better at it than him" you know what i mean? lol, sorry i am tired.
taytay6510 6
LMFAO . ^^ that's an epic win.
Driftz 3
So he "accidentally" peed on the floor? How'd he do that? BF: Hey hon, I peed on the floor on accident. Clean it up. GF: WHAT!?? How? BF: Well the thing is, I just "let it go". GF: Wow. BF I know right? Clean it up while i text my friends about my "epic moment".
tex_mex13 0
are you dating like a four year old or something cause he's sure acting like one
cat444des 0
My four year old is cleaner than that guy...
KVloveBC 0
my nephew is 2 and he uses the toilet standing up(when peeing)..potty trained at 1 1/2..
zp5 4
your boyfriend is a dick.
WhatTheFuq 0
well go grab ur mop and get of fmylife. if u know whats best for you... jk just "accidentaly" have ur period all over his shirt.
Driftz 3
So like, how does a girl give herself a period.
Tikwichka 5
He didn't say OP was to give herself a period. If you read his comment is says to have her period on his shirt.
Driftz 3
So like, the girl is on her period. Y'know what, this is getting retarded, I'm just going to enjoy his joke.
WhatTheFuq 0
well yu just ruined the hole joke. due 2 the fact ur are illiterate.
AthinaMarie 0
lol that will teach him..
nerdsgetmehot 23
#32 Actually, I think you're the illiterate one.
WhatTheFuq 0
well thx for sharing ure opinin...?
WhatTheFuq 0
lol thats nice to no?? I guess. sorry yu feel that way?
Tikwichka 5
Nobody involved in this thread can be defined as illiterate :) Some, however, come across as having poor literacy skills, even by primary school standards.
Sirin_fml 47
Your spelling hurts my eyes, WhatTheFuq, so I fixed it for you in the only way I know how. Don't thank me; I'm happy to help.
WhatTheFuq 0
lol what did I spell wrong. I maybe have forgot some punctuation marks but that's about it. I don't know why you'r hating.
FFML_314 12
Give it up, 119. Put your shirt down, have a protein shake, run a mile and ********** to Pamela Anderson. You'll feel better.
KingDingALing 9
Take a dump on his shirt and tell him it was an "accident". Then tell him to clean it up or else he'll find more "accidents" on his other possessions.
KingDingALing 9
Post Script. :)
Toastastics 3
OP: Clean this up before I have another "accident"
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
Caitlon, p.s. is used at the end of a note or letter as some kind of final note. example: dear (insert name) (insert long love letter here.... ) p.s. I'll come see you in December. I love you and miss you! soo yea I hope that helps
Ali_Br_fml 33
post = after like post partum depression... (depression after something (the baby) departs from somewhere (the womb) scriptum (I think it is scriptum, as in the Latin word for writing), but some people just say post script... Either way, it is just like saying, "oh, by the way." That's my translation, but feel free to use google. "ps means" or "define ps" or p.s. & op can tell her boyfriend to lick it up before leaving for good.
Ali_Br_fml 33
I missed the last parenthesis... post = after like post partum depression... (depression after something (the baby) departs from somewhere (the womb)) scriptum (I think it is scriptum, as in the Latin word for writing), but some people just say post script... Either way, it is just like saying, "oh, by the way." That's my translation, but feel free to use google. "ps means" or "define ps" or p.s. & op can tell her boyfriend to lick it up before leaving for good.
HomeAl0ne 20
P.S. is short for the latin phrase "post scriptum" which roughly translates as "written after". It was typically used when you had signed a written or typed letter and then you realised that you had something extra to say, or some pertinent event had happened. You couldn't go back and insert the text, so you would write "P.S." after the signature and then whatever you wanted to convey. If you then realised you had something else to say you would write "P.P.S." which was Post Post Scriptum. You don't see it much anymore because with most modern forms of written communication you can go back and insert text.
mrod10 0
how is that an fml its yo job. hah jk your bf's a duche.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Urine trouble now! don't be so yellow and show him that you're pissed!
bigbadtim 7
Congratulations, you used almost every piss poor pun impossible. I am a wee bit impressed.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
You sure are a wizz at these lame puns! If your genius ever leaks to the media, there'll be a steady stream of peepeerazzi at your door!
besosforme 26
Lol, I love you guys. That just made my day. =] Thank you.
DGross 8
So epic... thanks for making my day too.
max_wilder 9
owned
nerdsgetmehot 23
Sounds like someone needs to be housebroken. If you didn't break up with him immediately after that, then you deserve it. Why would you stay with someone who nonchalantly pees on the floor and then orders you to clean it up?
lindsey37 0
Really? A DS?!? Is he four?