Miscellaneous: Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went...

By anonymous - 16/10/2014 20:53 - United States - Canton

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 057

You deserved it 4 042

Miscellaneous

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Final words

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

By Anonymous - 28/11/2014 12:16 - Australia

Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation,, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 601

You deserved it 3 242

By dumbassgrad - 12/12/2012 19:14 - United States - El Monte

Today, I accidentally left my textbook at home. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, but today was my class final. Since it was an open-book final, I'd decided not to study for it. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 334

You deserved it 38 399

By Username - 29/05/2014 14:14 - United States

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 917

You deserved it 4 709

By Rawr - 01/08/2010 10:38 - Switzerland

Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 571

You deserved it 2 875

By crap - 17/01/2014 16:24 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 960

You deserved it 4 406

By Catherine - 10/06/2012 18:11 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I confronted my husband over the fact that despite me working two jobs to support us for the last three years, we're nowhere near our goal of buying a house. He actually had the brass balls to defend pissing my money down the drain on his ceramic cat collection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 588

You deserved it 5 934

By Anonymous - 13/11/2011 08:40 - Canada

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 2 483

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 721

You deserved it 25 485

By Time for a haircut - 21/05/2013 19:05 - United States

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 793

You deserved it 7 049

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 213

You deserved it 2 568

Meet the family

By OhMeGerd - 05/10/2012 14:56 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 437

You deserved it 28 914

By Anon - 05/12/2015 23:15 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I learned that while most people drunk text, I drunk clean. And by drunk clean I mean put my things away where I won't be able to find them, like my car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 278

You deserved it 4 096

By Watsausrname - 14/06/2016 02:31

Today, I was using the restroom at a gas station when someone hurriedly knocked on the door. Thinking that it was my sister, I playfully said, "Hold up, hoe!" I opened the door to see a goth woman with an edgy haircut giving me a death stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 769

You deserved it 5 954

By booboo300 - 29/04/2019 00:00

Today, I was supposed to have sex with my ex after he’d been out of town for a week. After a lot of build up and sexting last night, I woke up sick and he hurt his leg. It’s like our bodies are telling us not to sleep together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 2 237

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 912

You deserved it 7 596

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 347

You deserved it 3 296

By f my lifw - 07/04/2015 15:43 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I went to buy some makeup. As I was checking out, the cashier said, "You're going to need more than that to cover up that face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 184

You deserved it 3 013

By jailey - 26/07/2016 02:26

Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 574

You deserved it 1 277

Happy Reset Day!

By TheSaddestSpiceMeatball - 30/10/2019 16:00

Today, it was mine and my fiancé's 4 year anniversary. What did he get me? Nothing, but I did find out he's been cheating on me with multiple women. Guess I’m back to 0 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 009

You deserved it 146

By random - 13/05/2013 15:06 - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 493

You deserved it 23 137

By Stevejobs - 26/11/2018 17:30

Today, after realizing I had 130 unused vacation hours, I requested two weeks off. My vacation time was denied, but my boss still gave me the time off. So I don't have work for 2 weeks, all unpaid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 188

By teef - 24/03/2009 08:19 - Canada

Today, at the store, I heard a kid complaining about getting braces. While I was saying 'thank you' and 'bye' to the cashier, his grandma must've seen my slightly crooked teeth. She pointed and said, "Without them, your teeth will look bad like that man's!" Everyone around looked at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 596

You deserved it 4 552

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 09:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell over a wet floor sign warning you not to fall over. The irony hurt more than the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 901

You deserved it 9 567

By iheartnjdevils - 12/01/2011 19:42 - United States

Today, my landlord sent tree cutters to take down a tree in our front yard. I didn't realize their job included walking around the house and gratuitously staring at me through the window as I dressed. My boyfriend won't complain because he's afraid our rent will go up in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 528

You deserved it 7 901

By Madzison - 06/02/2012 10:08 - Australia

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 941

You deserved it 4 675

By zoearcu - 17/04/2011 18:32 - United States

Today, my dad decided to wake me up by opening the shades and having the sun shine on my face. When he pulled them up, the metal holder on top broke off and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 831

You deserved it 3 510

By Anonymous - 15/09/2010 21:20 - United States

Today, in marching band, the guy in front of me backed up too far. As we turned, the back of his trombone hit mine, smashing it into my lip. I had to finish the song, sending blood down my horn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 620

You deserved it 4 143

Move on, dude

By Sabrina - 03/09/2019 04:00 - Australia - Canberra

Today, looking on the internet, I came across my ex's Facebook page. Most of the posts were about me, and his profile picture was still of me and him. We broke up over a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 182

By Rachel - 12/02/2016 06:26 - United States - Burton

Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 000

You deserved it 3 728

Freud intensifies

By Anonymous - 28/09/2021 01:59

Today, I couldn't bring up a close friend from college in a conversation without my mom bashing her for over ten minutes. She does this with practically all my close female friends. I suspect she subconsciously doesn't want any girl to steal her son away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 63

By farf - 20/05/2015 18:47

Today, I received 46 emails from co-workers who were using reply-all to tell everyone else not to use reply-all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 214

You deserved it 2 029

By Anonymous - 29/08/2018 06:00

Today, I'm on new medication that has a side effect of keeping me awake all night. Now I get to listen to my parents having sex at 2am when they think I'm fast asleep. FYI, my dad likes being spanked and being told that he's a really bad boy who needs punishment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 143

You deserved it 433

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 17:58 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 478

You deserved it 9 491

Heavenly Shower

By deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 626

You deserved it 1 937

By abby0019 - 13/03/2010 00:08 - France

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 333

You deserved it 2 319

By the lannisters send their retards - 17/06/2014 20:30 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my coworker was telling me about his mom, when he asked about mine. I told him that I've never met my mom, because she died during my childbirth. It's a very painful subject for me, but all the same, my coworkers have decided they'll now only address me as "Tyrion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 252

You deserved it 4 539

By That Guy - 01/11/2014 12:58 - United States - Tampa

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 542

You deserved it 14 179

By worsethanzombies - 23/11/2009 16:40 - Spain

Today, my car crashed and the only refuge was at a nearby house, the resident of which was a crazy psycho. Now replace "crazy psycho" with "crazy ex-girlfriend who won't help you unless you compose a poem about how much you love her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 037

You deserved it 4 857

By Killme - 13/07/2016 02:10

Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 054

You deserved it 2 077

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 713

You deserved it 9 171

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

extremereviews 26

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:15

There's this thing called a water valve about 2 feet from where he was

abattior 18

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:13

A for effort..?

abattior 18

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:13

A for effort..?

devildog562 33

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:27

A for ass.- definition :2. A vain, self-important, silly, or aggressively stupid person.

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:28

#13: Or, y'know, a donkey...

devildog562 33

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:54

Welshite I guess it could go either way. Please excuse my vulgarness.

evilamoebaattack 20

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 8:22

vulgarity. that goes either way too :D

devildog562 33

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 8:32

Nope usually shit gets flushed . Sorry to everyone .

Migillope 10

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 21:05

As does my girlfriend :(

extremereviews 26

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:15

There's this thing called a water valve about 2 feet from where he was

False_Stupidity 41

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 21:20

It could be that the valve is just a knob that is seized up from disuse. They don't get used much and can be a real bitch to turn off.

HeavyWeaponsGuy 21

Send a private message

Monday 14 November 2016 17:41

maybe the VALVE was 3 feet away

thebigtwinkie 28

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:15

at least he tried

sayyestothedress 24

Send a private message

Saturday 18 October 2014 14:33

Technically he didn't actually try, he just wanted to get out of the situation easily and made it look like he tried and at the same time tried to be funny

iseebearbears 27

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:16

That sounds so cute. I bet you didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that point.

EvilTurtle 35

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:57

Why not both?

AnonPotato 16

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 8:14

*Mexican music plays*

icekitten14 12

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 11:38

^ These comments just killed me. RIP icekitten14.

brendejafulable 41

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:18

That's cute.

Omegadolly 22

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:18

Man, I feel bad for you, but just keep in mind that one day, you will look back at this and laugh just as hard as the rest of us are laughing right now. Much love, FYL.

devildog562 33

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:20

Ain't that a bitch... And a toilet...

ThexFroggyGirl 21

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 6:21

Well, he's a keeper..

Uglyfeet 23

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 7:18

OK, I get it when people call OP's boy/girlfriend a keeper when they do something funny or unexpected. It is a long shot to say that because of one simple action, but whatever, it's possible to understand. But seriously now, how can that moron be called a "keeper"?!? Keep him away from dogs and flooding toilets, that is...

isisorchid 16

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 8:04

It's called sarcasm.

Uglyfeet 23

Send a private message

Friday 17 October 2014 14:48

I had that thought at the time but it seemed to be a little out of context... maybe it was just my sleeptime soreness of mind. Anyway, #29 photo matches her comment perfectly, just wanted to say o/