Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll...

By Faithful - 24/11/2011 10:01 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 274

You deserved it 7 726

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
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Same thing different taste

Small comforts

By Anonymous - 22/03/2020 22:36

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 690

You deserved it 185

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 16:11 - Canada - Stoney Creek

Today, my fiancé told me that it would be okay with him if I got plastic surgery to make my boobs larger. It would also be okay with him if I didn't get the surgery, but he would call off our engagement and never talk to me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 739

You deserved it 6 533

By KBL3 - 11/08/2010 09:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 217

You deserved it 14 972

By Ggirl - 01/10/2013 19:41 - United States - Camarillo

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 573

You deserved it 15 380

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 546

The Rock

By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 22:00

Today, my bodybuilder boyfriend has been cheating on me, so I slapped him. He has such huge shoulder/neck muscle stuff, his head didn’t even move, and I dislocated 2 fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 990

Practical

By Abused - 13/10/2010 08:36 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 896

You deserved it 20 134

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 400

You deserved it 7 159

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 853

You deserved it 4 632

By CassidyQueen - 06/06/2015 02:14 - United States - Warrenton

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 235

You deserved it 5 566

B0NER 2

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Must have good boobies

rayrayray23 1

Thursday 24 November 2011 16:02

Best solution: Go to Narnia.

Comments

5181997 6

Friday 25 November 2011 2:35

At least he was honest

xXxHalfGonexXx 6

Friday 25 November 2011 2:43

Lmao ur name is faithful too

almostalbino 10

Friday 25 November 2011 2:54

Solution= don't cheat on him... unless you look forward to a future that involves your boobs in a jar or something...

cheerluv15 0

Friday 25 November 2011 3:09

You've got yourself a creeper

adventuretime98 2

Friday 25 November 2011 3:16

I wouldn't cheat on him if I were you

deefan101 11

Friday 25 November 2011 3:53

I think your bf needs mental help! ASAP!

stingerz2012 11

Friday 25 November 2011 4:16

I think I would move and change my name because that is psycho stuff...

brownbear16 0

Friday 25 November 2011 4:31

tell em ur ex has dibs!! jk jk jk jk x•

TuteSweet 13

Friday 25 November 2011 4:37

he needs to think about his priorities.

Grouse 5

Friday 25 November 2011 4:42

What happens if you break up? Imagine...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 275

Today, on my wedding day, when they said, "You may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately, my hands were sweaty as I was nervous, and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 984

You deserved it 19 769

The Top

Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2 254

You deserved it 285

Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch like a dog. She has yet to cease doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 316

You deserved it 796

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 896

You deserved it 6 587

Today, at work, a customer left their cell phone behind. I tried to see if there were any pictures so that I could identify them. No, I still don't know what they look like, but I have seen their penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 256

You deserved it 17 901

Today, I received our gas bill for about £200. My flatmate felt that this was extortionate and therefore phoned up our gas company and angrily told them to recalculate the bill. They did. We now owe £300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 539

You deserved it 5 069

Today, after years of counseling and therapy for my anger issues, I snapped. Two words: Flappy Bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 374

You deserved it 14 745