Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
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Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mum said she won't stop us from seeing each other, yet she'll only allow me to see him for 30 minutes a day, for 2 days a week, and gets mad if he sees me for any longer, because "mother knows best." FML
Today, I told both my boyfriend and my son that they needed to start spending more time together. They both asked why and what they did that I feel the need to punish them. They’re so similar, even I forget they’re not father and son, and yet for some reason they hate each other. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML
Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML
Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 33
"Dylan, you better stop messing with my girl or I'll beat the shit out of you!" "Oooohhh, you said a bad word!"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
What an idiot. He's clearly got some issues.
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Comments (123)
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I'm pretty sure he just cockblocked himself with how ridiculous he's being.
saraitkddh 47
stupidity has no limits...you can do better OP
UnluckyGenius 21
This seems out of a romantic comedy. Evil genius five year old. Boyfriend's the only one who sees his true evil. Girlfriend doesn't notice the evil plans set in motion. Buuuut anyway, he sounds like a jackass. Any male who complains about "cockblocking" is a primitive man indeed.
leogachi 15
When you see this movie coming to theaters next year, you'll know where they got the idea.
UnluckyGenius 21
Not sure if crediting OP for living it and posting it. Or me for coming up with this situation.
leogachi 15
Lol, you for the idea. Sorry about the ambiguity.
drewflav 17
Sounds like Stewie Griffin!
nanjiii_fml 26
Rooo poor little sweet... Fortunately it's just a 5-y-old rival baby boy ! :)
DjeePee 24
You can't have sex with your boyfriend while babysitting Dylan (no, really, you can't), so, technically, Dylan is cockblocking him. If Dylan gets more quality time with you than your boyfriend does, I can understand where his jealousy against a five-year-old comes from.
leogachi 15
So if your boyfriend wanted to have more sex with you, you would quit your job, right?
Mahendra1 9
Um...I imagine babysitting a five year old is a lot less time per week than a full time job. How is this boy going to cope when he grows up (in age, I doubt his maturity will increase) and his girlfriend spends 40 hours a week away from him? And maybe spends some time with friends after work? Is he then entitled to be jealous of every single one of her colleagues and associates, and see her working or just generally doing things without him as a "technical" cockblock? Is anything that prevents a male having sex with his partner "technically cockblocking"? God forbid a woman shouldn't available for sex every minute of the day.
Acik91 26
OP's boyfriend is not complaining about lack of quality time - that could be understandable, since OP says she's babysitting everyday. I assume she's doing that in the afternoons/evenings, and the chances are she goes to school/lectures/whatever in the mornings, because typically babysitting is a job that is done by teenagers/students. So, yeah, OP's boyfriend has the right to miss OP. But, as I said, he's not complaining about lack of quality time, which I understand as, generally, time spend in a nice way with your SO, be it watching TV series, cuddling or parachuting. He's complaining that he's getting ****-blocked by a 5 year old. Come on.
laden_swallow09 34
"…watching TV series, cuddling or parachuting." Well, that escalated quickly.
Acik91 26
Hey, whatever works for the couple, right? ;)
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22
Run, OP, run...
Shandra78 9
And you say Dylan is the five year old? Sit the two of them down to play video games together, it'll keep both of the kids out of your hair for a while.
autumnshay4383 7
The real question is... How old is your boyfriend, really?
brackaman 18
That's what OP failed to mention. He's 4. He has every right to be jealous of the older alpha male Dylan.
TheTwist 4
So much for honesty is the most important thing in a relationship :/ We men can sometimes get jealous about the smallest things. But in the end it just shows how much we love you and how afraid we are to lose you. And yes we got some issues
leena24 11
Oooh! Someone's asking for a spanking!