Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mum said she won't stop us from seeing each other, yet she'll only allow me to see him for 30 minutes a day, for 2 days a week, and gets mad if he sees me for any longer, because "mother knows best." FML
Today, I told both my boyfriend and my son that they needed to start spending more time together. They both asked why and what they did that I feel the need to punish them. They’re so similar, even I forget they’re not father and son, and yet for some reason they hate each other. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML
Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML
Today, I had to tell my boyfriend to stop inviting his mother on our dates. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrSassypants 33
"Dylan, you better stop messing with my girl or I'll beat the shit out of you!" "Oooohhh, you said a bad word!"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
What an idiot. He's clearly got some issues.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (123)
FlawlessSin 5
Well.... Nice to know I'm a cockblock.
meteorfire 3
....and what exactly does he think is going to happen if you two ever have kids? Or if he has kids, ever? Then he'll receive the joy of babies crying before sex, babies crying during sex, babies crying after sex, being too tired to have sex because of babies crying, kids walking in during sex, kids hearing sex, kids asking awkward questions about sex....
bigpops 12
asshat. ..dump him
Lindsay484 5
he's covering up himself cheating most likely.
that60steen 5
Your boyfriend doesn't seem very bright.
Erica0317 3
WOW...he has issues...find someone with a brain perhaps lol
freekit 3
He's definitely getting ****-blocked in his little feeble mind, why don't you tell him to go relieve himself in his coolly .
Aprillowe 1
What a idiot! Oh wait, someone said that, he has to be some douche that wears skinnies.
emmanuelwade 9
**** ya!!! I totally agree with your boyfriend!
emmanuelwade 9
**** you other bitches that are dissing him