Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML
Today, I was working at the daycare. As I left with my boyfriend, a kid came up to us and said that my boyfriend could do way better. FML
Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mum said she won't stop us from seeing each other, yet she'll only allow me to see him for 30 minutes a day, for 2 days a week, and gets mad if he sees me for any longer, because "mother knows best." FML
Today, I told both my boyfriend and my son that they needed to start spending more time together. They both asked why and what they did that I feel the need to punish them. They’re so similar, even I forget they’re not father and son, and yet for some reason they hate each other. FML
Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML
Today, I found out the people I babysit for have a nanny cam. Problem is, when I'm there, I act out scenarios in which I have the sweetest boyfriend. I also say his parts out loud in a man's voice. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s 6 year-old son. The first thing he said to me was, "You’re not going to leave us for another man like mommy did, right?" FML
Today, I realised my boyfriend is only nice to my son to make me happy. Turns out he hates children and will only do the minimum interaction with my 4-year-old son he can get away with, until he can fabricate an excuse to leave the room. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
"Dylan, you better stop messing with my girl or I'll beat the shit out of you!" "Oooohhh, you said a bad word!"
GraceyBlueEyes 13
What an idiot. He's clearly got some issues.
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Comments (123)
kinkycouple 10
And how old id ur bf?...3?
Asiarrhea 3
Geez you people, can't there be jealousy in a relationship? I mean I get jealous too but then not of a five year old. But that's his problem, DONT JUDGE.
DylanTeede 2
Go Dylan
TimmyKenmuir 1
haha that dude has problems.
K_lovesnutella 0
He's five!What the heck does your boyfriend think he knows about at age five?!
QueenJay81 13
lol he clearly has a jealousy issue
AmorVitae93 6
Your "boyfriend's" an idiot
Ryodin 11
I think his problem with the five-year-old is that you give the kid a lot of attention, and that attention is obviously non-sexual. So when you're spending time with the kid or have been recently, you won't be in the mood for him. Meanwhile he spends his day pining away for your girl-parts. He's an ass for approaching it this way but he's not entirely without a point.
Tuffley 7
wow! lol.. This reminds me of my ex boyfriend few years back. My best friend is homosexual and my ex boyfriend knew that, yet he couldn't resist getting really jealous everytime I was hanging out with him.
r0cks0 6
Boyfriends a punk. But kids will do that, just because he is five doesnt mean he doent get jealous.