Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
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Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
doubleodoggy 0
change lotions
kaylinmarie 0
exactly
annihil8or 15
Baby lotion feels better than reg. for sure
ant1078 7
use nutella next time:D
sourgirl101 29
Who doesn't enjoy hazelnuts?
kyanisaurus 0
he might not like them skid marks..
LuxAeterna_fml 0
People alergic to hazelnuts. :(
venezuitalian 1
you can never go wrong with nutella
lbmjtd 1
except if your allergic to nuts
missmaryb 0
Only one reason he'd associate going down and smelling baby lotion with child molesting.
ospeltz1 0
that's a pretty good reason
theonlysweetpea 10
What a dumbass...
ChantelRenaeee 0
well atleast he won't molest children?
GeneralLeeAdyck 0
I think you being 8 yrs old had more to do with it :p
FreebirdIII 1
And him being 25, and answering to the name Chester.
JayBear14 11
or big bird... jk
Bossman11 6
you're picture is awesome
neverbeensosad 4
Can't really blame him TBH...
DoubleAgent00 0
sounds like he has some unresolved issues that require medical attention. get help now