Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Crotch rot of the mouth
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
To each his own
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Revenge!
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Dude, gross
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
What should I do?
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Equality
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
What a wuss
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
JennaMarie420 2
soo take a shower and put different lotion on
perdix 31
He's just trying to be as polite as possible, given the hairy situation. The real reason is that after a few minutes into it, the pleasant baby lotion aroma gets overwhelmed by the foetid stench of your skanky vag. Let it go, and get one of your lesbian/bisexual friends take care of the *********** department for you.
wikkedphuka 0
thats a very stupid comment?!!?
FreebirdIII 1
Put on your Grandmas perfume, I bet that will get his motor running.
SteelCladAngel 0
what's your point op? use different lotion...there are a lot of baby lotion scents, not just the standard Johnson and Johnson pink lotion in a pink bottle. there's lavender an chamomile lavender vanilla/oatmeal the naturals line (which has a pleasant smell and makes your skin feel just as soft as the standard lotion.) et c and to the peoplesaying he has unresolved issues....maybe he has a baby sister or brother and his mom puts baby lotion on the little baby...so the smell reminded him of that? maybe he has a kid the gf doesn't know about and baby lotion reminded him of his own kid. we can't control the feelings certain smells trigger my husband hates the smell of baby lotion because it reminds him of a bug repellant/sunscreen his mom slathered on him when he was a little boy and he won't even kiss me when I use the standard baby lotion lol and I know several guys who prefer trimmed and shaped to bald pussy. maybe a combination of shaved pussy and baby lotion scented skin weirded him out.
Leadamp 7
Wow. I think you need to ask him some questions about his past
krystal2424 0
change your lotion? or say sorry but you wouldn't want me to give you a ********... you'd feel like a child molester wouldn't you?
wannbaussiegurl 4
well damn good point
Pinkandblack 0
LMFAO. I actually laughed my ass off at this one...no seriously i can't find it...
RockstarRN 10
I agree with him!! Ewww! Grow up girl!
Crazy4Christ 0
aaaaaaaaaahahahahah! ydi
jenaandtyler4eva 0
well maybe don't use it then and just use soap instead