Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
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Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
LOVEPINK143 1
Atleast we know he doesn't want to molest children. That's a score, but he really shouldn't be afraid because he knows you're not a child.
Mildyyy 3
I agree youre life sucks that is shit as for you Dont put that lotion on next time
sugarbear0727 19
My boyfriend loves it when I smell like lotion. He likes vanilla. And he's not picky on shaving either. He prefers that I don't shave, just keep it trimmed. But every once in a while, I'll shave completely. He loves it either way.
mollyjynxjax 28
I don't see how that's really a bad thing. Get some big girl lotion and be happy you aren't dating a pedophile!
cdncw 20
Everyone has their preferences and everyone has their dislikes. Sounds like this is a pretty simple one to change - and one that doesn't involve changing who you are. Not really an FML in my opinion... more of a "you're lucky that you have a significant other comfortable enough to simply state what was bugging him".
Dino_Deanna 8
well at least we know he's not a child molester
Rammer3500 23
I would too