Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
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Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
invicta8926 0
WOW! LMAO!
Gucci_Girl 2
Hahahaahahahahahah. oh my gosh. this is hilarious!!!!
Calyx_fml 22
Scent is pretty powerful. I understand his reluctance. Stop using baby lotion.
monnanon 14
Don't worry OP some people just don't like the smell maybe he just used such a strong excuse so you wouldn't force the issue. As someone else said he may have young siblings or cousins who are still slathered in baby lotion and the association is wierd for him. Don't worry just take the baby lotion hate under advisement for next time.
itsxbabyxjay 0
That's Cute.
bhfboss 0
rofll. that was funny
silentblack 0
most of the females wear baby lotion. if he got it in his mind that he's a molester when he smell baby lotion, then he is one of two things...he's a molester or he's gay. I'm just saying.
cdude200 10
wait how are you op?
MyF_ckingLuck 0
hilarious
frostymug18 1
either u suck in bed u have three rolls of fat hanging over ur snatch and he didnt feel like holding them out the way or hes gay..................