Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
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Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
qasimahsan93 4
Don't use it next time? :o I think I'd feel the same way if I smelt it. :/
scottymbev 0
thas coz u obviosly dntmlike pussy tha much
qasimahsan93 4
And maybe one day you'll learn to spell, although I wouldn't hold out on it.
RainbowHeadache 2
Take advantage of it and make fun of him. Start calling him daddy in a high pitched voice & ask him to touch your no no square.
armorf0r 7
if you get him to start doing that, he might just turn into a child molester.. lol
RainbowHeadache 2
Innocent role-play lmao
ReynshineCutting 10
When did the whole "no no square" thing start? I never heard that growing up and the first time I ever heard it was on an FML.
armorf0r 7
65 - theres absolutely nothing wrong with innocent role playing. She just can't let him take it too far :P lol
RainbowHeadache 2
First time I've heard it was on FML about a month or so ago.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
"Stop, don't touch me there! This is my no no square!" I didn't know genitalia was square.
armorf0r 7
psh there's something wrong if ours ISN'T square lol
armorf0r 7
yours*
drew1978 4
Why r u slapping your vag with baby lotion in da first place? R u trying to mask some other smell? U betta check yoself, befo u wreck yoself...
ReynshineCutting 10
Wow your comment with your picture...Just wow.
adorableash 0
ahahahah! I'm sorry but that was hill air e ous, your reaction. it made me laugh, thank you for that (:
adorableash 0
ahahahah! I'm sorry but that was hill air e ous, your reaction. it made me laugh, thank you for that (:
cwmbear 0
Don't use baby lotion. Marmite.
ThanksKarma 0
I think he's got some skeletons in his closet. He's not telling you something.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Mmmm, marmite and pussy.
Dbolli 0
You must be black. Who the **** would put baby lotion down there.
That1BeastOzzy 0
I'm pretty sure thy was just an excuse haha
lnperry22 0
that's just funny...go take a shower then.
Lacrosse00 0
haha...Wow! What a pussy! A real man would've done it anyway. Use baby powder then...Oh and to all men afraid of a brazialian wax grow up...I'll go down a girl just because she waxed it all off.