Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Crotch rot of the mouth
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
To each his own
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Revenge!
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Dude, gross
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
What should I do?
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Equality
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
What a wuss
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
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Comments (173)
4evermossin 0
legit
dj2k14 0
are you serious? does he work at a fish factory.
mtb337 0
well it's better than him liking little children like that.
S4ndsurph3r 4
well thats not that bad... he could have said you need to clean up
Chloeeeeeeeeee_fml 6
This made me actually laugh out loud :)
lbmjtd 1
better than actually being a child molester
barbiiee_fml 0
maybe she just got out the shower, freshly shaved, put lotion all over & the smell just so happened to go there. is it her fault she wants to be clean ? Haha!
meintx 9
But but I always put baby lotion on my whoha after I shave it. ;-)
BuhxritNAYY 5
you guys are ridiculous. she didn't say IT smelled like baby OIL, she said she did. plus if you're having sex you're not sniffing down there the whole time. don't be assholes and tell her to wash or use vagisil, some people use baby lotion on their bodies for sensitive skin. same with baby shampoo. assholes.
BigOrca 2
I believe this is what really happened.