Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I tried to gently tell my boyfriend that he needs to wash his clothes more often as some of them smell pretty musty. He got all pissy (no pun intended) and assured me that none of his exes ever complained about a smell. I can’t even go down on the guy because his crotch smells bad. FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML
Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML
Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
THISISCITRUS 0
"But you are."
TheDrifter 24
Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (173)
bitterfaceplant 0
plus it taste bad
cudgel1023 0
Good excuse
danz123 7
So your life is ****** just because your boyfriend won't eat you out? If it's because of the lotion, then don't use it, or use a different one, it's that simple. Oh and I love the double standards here. Everyone's calling OP's boyfriend gay, not a 'real man', that other posters will offer to do it instead, make fun of him, etc. If this was a girl saying she didn't want to give her boyfriend a *******, nobody would question it, in fact they'd support her.
Dbolli 0
You must be african-american.
lacey6195 4
u should buy some big girl lotion!
Lespaulluapsel 0
I'll go down on you...
harbqll 0
That's what you get for rubbing your crotch with a baby. Perv.
ChangMu 8
that is a pretty legitimate reason
jess6blondie9 3
I love baby lotion! :))
147 1
haha thats genius :P