Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled... - FML

By skiittlez713 - 20/05/2011 08:40 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 300

You deserved it 16 564

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Same thing different taste

Crotch rot of the mouth

By Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 311

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Spicy

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 223

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

Revenge!

By princess98 - 18/11/2019 05:00

Today, I had to ask my boyfriend to take a shower, because he smelt awful and wanted to cuddle. After 45 minutes, he did so. I wanted to cuddle and fool around after he was done. I got rejected because he didn't want to get dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 812

By hdgyfjdzdfg - 16/04/2012 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 068

You deserved it 4 909

What should I do?

By Anonymous - 08/12/2019 20:00

Spicy

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 282

You deserved it 573

By hairless - 30/07/2010 06:45 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I got a XXX wax, because my boyfriend wouldn't go down on me as he didn't like the hair. Now he won't sleep with me at all because I look like a child with no pubic hair, and he "feels like a pedophile." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 426

You deserved it 10 119

Equality

By Anonymous - 04/12/2011 07:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was disgusted because I dropped a Skittle on the floor and ate it. He thought peeing on me in the shower was just fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 212

You deserved it 6 343

What a wuss

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 321

Contagion

By Girlygal32 - 13/09/2020 08:02 - United States

Today, my mother chewed me out for not wearing deodorant and smelling of B.O. I was wearing plenty of deodorant. My shirt just smelled like my boyfriend, whom I'd been cuddling with earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 509

Next

Top comments

THISISCITRUS 0

Friday 20 May 2011 15:55

"But you are."

TheDrifter 23

Friday 20 May 2011 16:04

Are you sure it wasn't the fully shaved look combined with the Dora the explorer panties?

Comments

Daviddwd 0

Tuesday 31 May 2011 14:24

at least u no he's not a priest

isac1234 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 6:21

use some soap or house spray so your v spot don't smell like a kid

MyReinvention55 7

Thursday 9 June 2011 1:53

I'd do it :)

sweety503 0

Friday 17 June 2011 15:38

lmao!

ledzeppfan77 6

Saturday 9 July 2011 1:04

lmao!

MinkaGraham 0

Sunday 17 July 2011 21:35

HAHA , thats actually REALLY funny (x

Bcfrmkc816 17

Tuesday 26 July 2011 13:54

what an idiot he is and I would be glad to

Superllama12 11

Thursday 29 September 2011 0:57

And he knows what that's like how?

Superllama12 11

Thursday 29 September 2011 0:59

And he knows what that's like how?

wanna_bee 8

Wednesday 15 February 2012 14:01

Surprised that no one mentioned the obvious, he's either saying it makes home feel like a child molester bc be doent like it like that or he hiding a secret life of child molestation from you and is scared to let it out in front of you. Lol.

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 138

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 241

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 151

You deserved it 7 416

Today, I finally had sex with my new boyfriend, well… penetration anyway. Turns out, he has premature ejaculation, and no idea how bad at sex he is. He actually thought he did a good job by lasting 20 seconds. He was done after 4 thrusts and was somehow confused. I didn't orgasm either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 653

You deserved it 381

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 557

You deserved it 4 880

Today, my girlfriend told me that she woke up after yesterday’s party with someone else’s trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 466

You deserved it 2 454

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 066

You deserved it 1 798

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I'd only shaved one armpit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 300

You deserved it 11 030