Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
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Top comments
LocoMarshmallow 13
At least he didn't wipe it on your forehead and say "Simba"
DocBastard 40
I think that move definitely needs a name. I propose "The Perdix".
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Comments (154)
jeping1981 1
Definite deal breaker.
imchacon22 19
Sperm contain protein that have the same anti wrinkle effect as moisturizer
Tressa1982 18
LOL that's awesome!
robj118 10
Yeah, it's called the "Spider-Man"
mete_orito 34
I would say the sperm-man
chocolatefrog28 29
Yeah... friends don't do that to friends. Tell him if he's going to go for a creative ending, to think above a 12 year old level.
weedandfood 8
At least chu ain't gonna be preggers.
MzZombicidal 36
Chu? ...Really?
8born8 18
Pika?
Ziggy122 15
Would you rather he shazam inside of you?
ItsEdd 9
Did he use a jizzle to clean it up?
bigmammajamma69 4
I would have scooped his nasty **** back up and smacked his face with it. And then kicked him out ! Hell no, ugh that's gross
commandercolbert 6
you sure know how to pick em.