Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LocoMarshmallow 13
At least he didn't wipe it on your forehead and say "Simba"
DocBastard 40
I think that move definitely needs a name. I propose "The Perdix".
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
nitrog100 21
That's cool. If it made more sense, I'd totally do that. I will seriously consider yelling Shazaaammm though.
buckdharma 38
Boyfriend- Sha-zam! Op- Golly Boyfriend- surprise, surprise, surprise! Op- Shame, shame, shame!
Maxgolub 13
This guy knows what's up
Waredo_Dyrge 11
No he doesn't you human stain.
intensitive 11
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever read on here.
Wakachulak 22
You haven't been around here long, have you?
intensitive 11
lol I've been around for years, actually. It's all relative. There's plenty of disgusting things on here, but for me personally, this was just nasty.
Dinonick 15
And then he turned back into 10 year old billy batson God i hope someone gets that
chosenblades 8
TIL OP had sex with Tom Hanks.
khaoticpanda 28
These make me cringe. If my boyfriend ever did this id be pissed.
cbelanger 9
You should be using protection, regardless of what the fml says. It's very important and also it would prevent the OP's boyfriend from doing gross things
ksks1234 33
Maybe they have been in a long term monogamous relationship. She could be on the pill, depo, IUD, etc. Maybe they are trying to get pregnant (even though I am pretty sure his way is the wrong way). What business is it of yours anyway?
Enslaved 38
I guess you haven't read the FML where the boyfriend throws his used condom at his girlfriend's face?
limabeans101029 21
How on earth would you know whether they were using protection or not? Condoms aren't the only form of it.
AniNinja 6
We would be fighting
howdoilogin 9
Your ****, your ******, your ass, your mouth, and he chose his hand. Wow.
drjan 1
And then you told him to get the hell out of your life for being so disrespectful to you and your relationship. Congratulations if you did the above, if not, you deserve this asshole.
Waredo_Dyrge 11
This right here. I have zero respect for girls who persist in griping about douchebags, yet continue to pursue relationships with them.