Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the guy I'm seeing and I were having sex. While I was having my orgasm, he looked at me and said "SHHHH!". FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he suddenly pulls out and says, "Pull my penis." So I pulled his penis and he farted. Then he started doing it again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is." Orgasm gone. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML
Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he finished before me. I thought that he was going to try and get hard again so we could continue. Unfortunately, he turned to me and said to me, "Don't worry, I'll re-spawn in a few minutes." I lost it completely. FML
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Top comments
LocoMarshmallow 13
At least he didn't wipe it on your forehead and say "Simba"
DocBastard 40
I think that move definitely needs a name. I propose "The Perdix".
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Comments (154)
schnips 10
Sounds exactly like something my boyfriend would do...
smilelynzi 5
Hahahahahahaha, that's what I did after I read this!!!
onyxsmiles 4
At least he didn't fling it near your ****** xD
mattrd_fml 31
Some would consider you lucky...
thundermoo 16
How many times did you stab him?
outoftown 27
Because if you have a kid with him, he'll trick him into licking a frozen flagpole.
ekwinoks 5
I applaud his creativity
sickerthanyou 13
for a moment I thought you were going to say he slapped you with a hand full of cum.
lionhardt13 10
What the hell is up with dude? It's sex, not degrade women time. Sad
CelticLad0719 2
this is less of a fml and more of a reason to appreciate your bf