Kids and Growing old: They grow up so fast these days - FML

They grow up so fast these days

By Greg - 08/06/2021 00:01

Spicy

Today, my 6-year-old nephew told me that he wanted to grow up already, so that he could smoke, drink and, "fuck like a rabbit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 152

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Same thing different taste

By Zedscar - 15/07/2017 22:30 - United States - Martinsburg

Today, my 8-year-old nephew told me he liked the way I smelt. Apparently I smell like "cat food and cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 866

You deserved it 647

By epistaxis - 29/01/2009 02:31 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 730

You deserved it 3 958

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 492

You deserved it 46 145

Snot machine

By Anonymous - 07/11/2022 16:00

Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 866

You deserved it 167

By Mak10 - 21/08/2009 05:18 - United States

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and asked, "Who am I?" He then replied, "An idiot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 483

You deserved it 51 190

By AuntPeePee - 20/05/2013 11:57 - United States

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 462

You deserved it 3 564

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Spicy

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 269

WTF kid?

By Fag_Hag - 06/02/2009 01:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my 4 year-old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 390

You deserved it 3 319

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 655

You deserved it 7 137

By Anonymous - 29/03/2015 15:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my 8-year-old son told me to grow a pair and man up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 363

You deserved it 7 721

Next

Top comments

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 8 June 2021 0:28

Well, it's important to have goals in life😅

cuz803 44

Tuesday 8 June 2021 1:19

Precocious mindsets are adorably tragic...

Comments

Wadlaen 23

Tuesday 8 June 2021 0:28

Well, it's important to have goals in life😅

cuz803 44

Tuesday 8 June 2021 1:19

Precocious mindsets are adorably tragic...

mike3775 35

Tuesday 8 June 2021 1:21

Does he have older brothers? It’s hilarious what he said. I just wonder where he learned it

ojoRojo 27

Tuesday 8 June 2021 10:31

Something’s not right there 😳

idragosani 15

Tuesday 8 June 2021 17:59

Isn't that why everyone wants grow up... except that's usually how we think when we are teenagers, not six year olds.

FrankHotpants 31

Tuesday 8 June 2021 21:23

As we grow so do our views on life and goals. I’m sure he’ll grow out of it

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Transportation Dogs Animals ADHD Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 131

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 021

You deserved it 3 405

The Top

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 118

You deserved it 16 740

Today, my friend figured out that if you poke my neck I scratch like a dog. She has yet to cease doing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 324

You deserved it 801

Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 330

You deserved it 2 015

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 5 834

Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 3 417

Today, I slipped and fell on a sudden patch of ice, on a road that had been completely fine until then, so I decided to push my bike past the icy patch before getting back on. Little did I know, the ice continued for the entire rest of the road, which was another 3km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 121