Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I received a text from my boyfriend telling me how much I wore him out the night before, from all the sex we were having. We had sex for two minutes. FML
Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I finally had sex with a coworker I’d been flirting with for nearly 2 and half years. The sex lasted less than 2 and a half minutes. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my husband and orgasmed. Three hours apart from each other. FML
Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML
Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been seeing. It took him longer to put the condom on than it did to finish. FML
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Top comments
Cavebone 5
that's a solid 50% improvement.
DalPozzo13 10
That's sad, my dog has gotten it on with a pillow longer than that haha
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Comments (229)
perdix 31
You may be training a **** star! Hopefully, he'll remember you as more than just the housing for his training ****.
Curfman 0
Hit me up. I'll last 10 times longer;)
Calyx_fml 22
The trick is to have sex twice. Once to let speedy Gonzales blow his Premo nut, and again 20 minutes later. The second time he'll last a lot longer. Meanwhile he can go down on you and slurp his own spoof.
Gottobekiddingme 7
Think of it as a compliment.
bekahboo33 2
He doesn't like to go down on me... Even though I've done it to him multiple times...
kristen69 0
If he won't go down on u then don't go down on him. It's only fair. U shouldn't have to be the only one who gives, it's a two way road.
alzeer 5
People usually lie about how long they have sex.
kissie87 4
Holly bananas now that's bad I feel bad for you hey but at least you get it lol he better had pleased you though I know that feeling and it sucks
C0lt45 0
Wow, your life is just terrible isn't it?
2112mike 4
You were timing it? Put down the stop watch...
kristen69 0
FOREPLAY!!!!!! Mess around to the point of finishing and stop. It helps with control. And gotta work at it everyday :p but at least ur getting something.