Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Narcissism
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
WAURGH
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
Repetition
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Honky
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
What a Q-tip
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML
Top comments
Alienkiller 0
he was only unloading his gun
mike3775 39
And yet another upset woman who does not want to have fun in bed. Man I swear, the majority of women who post these types of comments on FML just want the guy to go back and forth for a few minutes and not say or do anything but that and then finish up and be done with it
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Comments (129)
mike3775 39
And yet another upset woman who does not want to have fun in bed. Man I swear, the majority of women who post these types of comments on FML just want the guy to go back and forth for a few minutes and not say or do anything but that and then finish up and be done with it
enoughgrace 4
was it a three round burst?
danishbagel 3
It was full-auto.
InBetweenDreams 0
Your boyfriend sounds like a dork, in a good way though. (: Lighten up a bit, sex doesn't have to be so serious all the time.
alexfmllemon 0
your gorgeous InBetweenDreams
TheWicked 4
*BANG* *BANG* You're dead!
sourgirl101 29
shoot 'em up. Bang bang, blow you away.... It's show down, in no man's land. For the cowboys of the modern day.(: Your comment reminded me of "Tesla"
aliceFTW 0
why is this an FML...? that's hilarious
Crystallea 1
I wish my boyfriend would do that, I love weapons, besides, I'd totally need some afterward caring for, he shot me :3
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
WTF is it with this flood of "My boyfriend did something something other than move his penis during sex. booohooo my fragile sanity" FMLs? don't like variety? - get your selves a vibrator, *****.
knockoutmouse 8
#25, I don't think it's that these women have no sense of humor so much as they found their boyfriends' behavior demeaning. It kills the mood sometimes. I'm trying to think of an example, but different people find different things unsexy. Like, say, if your partner wanted you to roleplay as characters from Spongebob Squarepants, or began talking about horrific penis injuries s/he saw on the internet, or something that just totally turned you off--and then saw no reason why you might not find that to be the awesomest thing ever.
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
argument = valid. though IMHO sex is better when administered playfully; because ******* just for an orgasms sake is more like masturbating with a ****** instead of a hand.
xwy 0
Kaboom! TA-TA-TA-TA-TA, fjuuuuuuuuuuu , bling.
Fresh4416 0
Your picture isn't exactly the most mature thing.
bigbadtim 7
Your boyfriend shot his load. He just needed the sound effects.