Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound... - FML

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

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Same thing different taste

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

You deserved it 5 718

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 430

You deserved it 7 325

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

WAURGH

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 02:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 914

You deserved it 4 264

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 736

You deserved it 4 429

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 5 032

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 6 482

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 12:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 6 758

By XxMe123xx - 19/08/2010 00:51 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 518

You deserved it 10 932

By zamwow - 20/12/2013 23:36 - United States - Ridgefield Park

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 824

You deserved it 8 872

Next

Top comments

Alienkiller 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 19:28

he was only unloading his gun

mike3775 35

Sunday 9 January 2011 20:28

And yet another upset woman who does not want to have fun in bed. Man I swear, the majority of women who post these types of comments on FML just want the guy to go back and forth for a few minutes and not say or do anything but that and then finish up and be done with it

Comments

hayleyjayxx 0

Monday 10 January 2011 12:53

I am so over these FML's.

ZeroZ 0

Monday 10 January 2011 13:28

YDI for having a weirdo for a boyfriend.

kevint9911 15

Monday 10 January 2011 13:56

ur bf is awesome

blackirish44 0

Monday 10 January 2011 13:59

fake.

cgom 0

Monday 10 January 2011 14:07

lmfao!! thats crazy you must be one good ****..

blueblowsgreen 0

Monday 10 January 2011 14:10

boom, boom, boom!

linlinpintobean 0

Monday 10 January 2011 17:00

too immature for sex...

fjretsel 1

Monday 10 January 2011 18:13

did he shoot in your mouth?

TheNewGuy03 28

Tuesday 11 January 2011 1:20

that means he just killed the pussy. |the kid|

ceeejjjj 0

Tuesday 11 January 2011 2:02

haha was it full auto or semi- auto lol

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The Top

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say, "Fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "Pollo frito". I then had sex, constantly saying "Pollo frito" for an hour. I later realized I was saying "Fried chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 488

You deserved it 183 654

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 415

The Top

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 3 674

Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 3 271

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 446

You deserved it 3 714

Today, I received a threatening DM from my so-called best friend, telling me that she wouldn't be calling off her wedding next week, despite everyone telling her to postpone due for health and safety reasons, and would claw my eyes out if I stayed in quarantine with my sick mum instead of coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 260

You deserved it 165

Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML

I agree, your life sucks 976

You deserved it 96

Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 271