Health: Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have...

By walnutbladder - 07/01/2011 21:46 - United States

Today, I realized that every time I hear running water, I have less than a minute to find a toilet or I'll pee my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 815

You deserved it 4 079

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Same thing different taste

Piss poor performance

By kelsey - 02/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, if I need to pee, I have less than a minute to get to a toilet before I pee myself. It’s been like that since I was a kid and my family won’t stop making fun of me for not growing out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 114

By Peepants - 03/03/2016 23:03 - United States - Huntsville

Today, I really had to pee during one of my college lectures. I finally worked up the nerve to leave the room while he was lecturing, and ran frantically to the bathroom. Once in there, the urge intensified to the point I couldn't hold it. I peed my pants while standing in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 077

You deserved it 4 730

By sarahrachel - 15/12/2015 03:30 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 043

You deserved it 5 053

Walk, don't run

By Anonymous - 19/07/2022 03:00 - Finland

Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 113

By Anon - 25/08/2015 10:10 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 644

You deserved it 9 143

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 130

You deserved it 53 799

By "Jam2019" - 15/02/2019 14:00

Today, despite using the bathroom before I left my house, then at the bus station 10 minutes later, I still had to get off my bus halfway into my hour long journey to pee in a back alley or I would have wet myself. I'm 24 and this has happened twice in the last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 167

You deserved it 246

Just pish yerself

By Anonymous - 30/10/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I went to the store. In the span of 10 minutes, I went from not needing to pee, to pissing myself in the middle of the crowded store. It wasn’t even just a little bit, it was a full-on stream, and there were no toilets in this store. I’m only 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 128

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 395

By PeedMom - 16/03/2018 09:00 - United States - Cedar Bluff

Today, I had to pee really badly. I rushed to the bathroom, pulled down my pants, and sat on the toilet. After a few seconds of peeing, I realized I had only pulled down my pants. Not my underpants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 015

You deserved it 1 843

key_2010 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

You need Depends.

Penaman 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:10

That would really suck if you are with a group of people.

Comments

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:08

Today I realised that everytime I read a clearly made up FML, I want to punch the person who wrote it. Hard.

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

Why was this moderated?

Penaman 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:10

That would really suck if you are with a group of people.

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:15

*drip* *drop* *drip* *drop*

Timmo_fml 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

Today, I realised that everytime I hear someone sit on a whoopee cushion, I shit myself.

DudeImBetter 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:50

you should try and get a spot in history as the women who took the most amount of pisses throughout her life. I'll support you all the way.

lolpwnagelol 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 3:36

tick tick tick...

key_2010 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:12

You need Depends.

tayytayyy 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:13

I was gonna say that :P

lsms 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:13

thts suxx for u :(

emilyxorawr 3

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

Wear diapers!

bengermin 5

Monday 6 June 2011 8:02

...I do!

ViolentBears 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

It could be worse, OP. :) You could crap your pants every time instead.

perez758 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:14

this sounds like a good thing to me.. like when you have to give a sample for testing at the doctors this is very useful.

alwa7sh 2

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:16

I hope you get one of those mini fountains as a gift :)

GuitarNukka520 5

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:16

Bladder Infection?

hadi_brown 0

Saturday 8 January 2011 2:19

daayummm...

Keywords

Kids Money Health Work Christmas You're fired Fat Bodyshaming Customers Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 541

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 198

The Top

Today, I decided to act on my therapist's advice and ask my crush out. She turned me down because I'm apparently too much of a downer. The reason I have a therapist is because I'm depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 051

You deserved it 1 255

Today, I realised just how skewed my reality is when I was pleasantly surprised that teenagers threw eggs at my windows. They usually throw rocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 400

You deserved it 220

Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 064

You deserved it 78 728

Today, while on a blind date, I told her in no uncertain terms that if I got married, my wife would need to be a housewife. She burst out laughing and asked, "Dude, do you even HAVE a house?" and walked out laughing when I said I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 631

Today, my sister burned herself on purpose with a curling iron. Why? She thought it would be cool to have a scar that "tells a story." My sister is 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 483

You deserved it 146

Today, I got up and walked to college for my only class which started at 9 a.m. after a night of restless sleep. Our exam is two weeks away, so I thought it would be better to attend. Apparently, my teacher thought differently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 213

Same thing different taste

Piss poor performance

Walk, don't run

Just pish yerself

AKA taking a screenshot

Top comments

Comments