Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Well you volunteered as tribute.
AninOnin 24
Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.
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Comments (155)
perdix 29
So, he's mocking your va-jay-jay?
JohnTheLad 13
Think you may be on to something.
Kukurugya 11
how is this bad?
worldclassrager 39
I would have closed my legs and said you just lost your privlage...turn up your maturity...sex is not a game...it's a serious commitment...
Mynamewontfi 40
Sure opinions differ, but I rather have fun sex than "serious commitment" sex. Why even bother having sex when there is no fun involved?
worldclassrager 39
You got me there...but she is giving him everything and that's serious...
kmartFTW 12
Yep. She is giving every little part of her "mockingjay" vajayjay.
coried91 28
I agree, sex is serious. Seriously fun!
nana_star 27
Literally no.
KimmyCupZ 21
I bet he wasn't being ugly about it :) It is rather humerous.
ErinPinelli 24
Sex joke.
oj101 33
As much as I love the hunger games, that saying always irrationally annoys me. I guess that my brain's grammar auto-correct changes it to "ever be" but another part of my brain says that I 100% heard "be ever". Anybody else feels like this?
MexicanPenguin 1
>Mockingjay
lilpixie21 11
Nice greentext.
ZombieSazza 34
This is kinda hilarious and strange at the same time. I'm sure you can compare his penis to something and give him similar treatment to see how he likes it.
Kukurugya 11
How is this bad?
Kukurugya 11
How is that bad? and why the **** did I get monitored?
kmartFTW 12
its funny how life works.