Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Well you volunteered as tribute.
AninOnin 24
Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.
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Comments (155)
tuffykat 8
you should sit like a lady and not leave it all out there for examination!!
ThickLager 5
if those are that long i probably would not do it with light anymore. kinda nasty.
notfmylife 1
have you ever even seen labia before?
Honema 16
I am so annoyed by the fact I can't like your comments Julien. Why is that?
ihpp 22
id have hit him upside the head
speakersboom 19
I just puked in my mouth a little bit.
evanobrien 14
at least he didn't pretend there was an echo..
DanielRamirez 10
Kinky
Robtranis 11
That's quite disturbing actually... :/
mxij 13
Is your name Katniss Everdeen, perhaps?
badwolf42913 1
as the mockingjay whistle plays in my head....but seriously i would of laughed at him doing that