Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the...

By Melie-Melo - United Kingdom

Today, after repairing the toilet, the light, the shower, the cooker and the heater in the flat I've just moved into, my boiler dies. It's mid December, about 1 degree outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26010

You deserved it

2088

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Miscellaneous

Instadrama

Long story short

Trans women are women

By Alice - United States

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66315

You deserved it

10813

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By manderpander21 - United States - Bronx

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30256

You deserved it

3586

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By Stu - United States

Today, my girlfriend got a Twitter account. Now she won't stop hashtagging everything she sends me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23584

You deserved it

2750

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By Anonymous - Singapore

Today, I took a nap because I've been sick for the past week and I was exhausted. When I woke up, my hair, shirt, pillow, and bedsheets were soaked. I threw up all over myself in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35637

You deserved it

3240

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By SillyScotsman - United Kingdom - Hamilton

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51899

You deserved it

7570

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By bwoolf96

Today, in the early hours of the morning, I woke up in sleep paralysis, hallucinating the sight of children hanging from the ceiling. Now I'm scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27833

You deserved it

1848

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By SheenaL - United States

Today, my son is going through a rebellious phase. He's taken to wearing leather and chains, listening to death metal music all day in his room alone, and screaming at me in public places. He was fired from his part-time job for swearing at customers. My son is 29 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47587

You deserved it

13648

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By rkaneki

Twice error

Today, the guy I've been seeing told me he did not want to pursue a relationship with me after over 2 months of talking. He did the exact same thing to me 7 years ago. I fell for him twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1594

You deserved it

1331

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By Today

Boo!

Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1478

You deserved it

324

Favorite

By brokedick - United States

Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42199

You deserved it

4055

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19137

You deserved it

78412

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By Anonymous

Today, I was running late for my morning gym class. I grabbed a near-empty drink bottle on my way out, intending to fill it up at the gym. Mid-workout, I reached for my bottle and took a big mouthful as I headed over to fill it up. To my great surprise, it was not water but straight vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4483

You deserved it

1347

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By puggles - United States

Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiancé bought it from an infomercial, for $19.95. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37556

You deserved it

7722

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By SharpDressedMan - United States - Leesburg

Today, I spent almost nine hours cleaning because I was promised I could go to junior prom if my room was cleaned. I missed a dust bunny and couldn't go. I had a date for this, who I'd had a crush on for over a year and barely managed to ask to go with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3948

You deserved it

297

Favorite

By SkiMaskFukd - United States

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43091

You deserved it

5786

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By Anonymous - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30515

You deserved it

2200

Favorite

By Stolemylady - Australia

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32209

You deserved it

6757

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By shittysongs - United States - Bothell

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32810

You deserved it

7065

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By Foolish - United States - Los Altos

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend one last chance at fixing our failing relationship. Instead of talking about how to fix our dying relationship, he decided to game all day and ignore me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12158

You deserved it

1877

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By anonymous - United States

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58023

You deserved it

4940

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By Anonymous - 9/8/2020 05:01

Tough love

Today, I spent over an hour trying to get my niece to sleep and nothing worked. Then my husband got home and yelled, "Listen brat, either sleep now or be buried in the cat's litter box." It worked. She giggled, ran to bed and 30 seconds later she was snoring. What? How? Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks

1595

You deserved it

282

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By Inkabadger - Canada

Today, since we hadn't been romantic for a long time, I shaved, took a bath, cut my hair and snuggled up to my husband in bed. He got up, went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32850

You deserved it

4052

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By catfriend - United States - Salida

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45903

You deserved it

4819

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By Anownimous - United States - San Francisco

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24658

You deserved it

5616

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By MissArizona - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Make it so

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27734

You deserved it

4074

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By grow_fasterrr - - Canada

Today, I went to get a trim. However, follow-up damage control at home afterward shouldn't really be necessary on a fifty dollar haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22311

You deserved it

5435

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By ericane27 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39256

You deserved it

5837

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By Selfish Whiner - United Kingdom - Scunthorpe

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48906

You deserved it

5665

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By WaltTheFuckDad - United States - Salida

Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49247

You deserved it

3579

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26776

You deserved it

9899

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By unemployed - United States - Alhambra

Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14150

You deserved it

25792

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, on my 21st birthday, a relative asked me if I was still engaged to the love of my life. The man I spent several years with, gave my virginity to, moved across the country for, who promised to marry me before my 21st, and who swore he was over his ex for good. No, but thanks for asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40406

You deserved it

8052

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27589

You deserved it

39720

Favorite

By Z - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12739

You deserved it

24901

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Sacramento

Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33247

You deserved it

2283

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my friend at the mall. He didn't see me, so I called him to say "Turn around." He took one look at his phone, snorted loudly enough for me to hear from way off, and put it back in his pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26817

You deserved it

2392

Favorite

By keifer13 - United States

Today, it was my high school graduation. I brought my camera to capture these last memories, only to discover that the batteries were dead. When I got home and went to change them, I realized they were not dead, they were just put in the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15582

You deserved it

56094

Favorite

By Carlyclose

Today, I got rejected from Sephora, Walgreens and Ulta for being OVER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. Then, I got rejected from Estée Lauder, LVMH and Proctor and Gamble for being UNDER-qualified with a post-graduate diploma in cosmetic chemistry. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5126

You deserved it

354

Favorite

By idiot says "you raised him" - Canada - Barrie

Today, my son got in serious trouble after he was caught trying to sell weed to people in the street. The good news is that the "weed" was just actual weeds he'd pulled from our lawn. The bad news is that at age 16, my son is too stupid to know the difference. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57074

You deserved it

7937

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Fallbrook

Today, I found out that the piece of vacant land I purchased for $20,000 is illegal to build a house on, due to acreage restrictions. Thank you, realtor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28464

You deserved it

5608

Favorite

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Top comments

By Easy_Target | 0

#6036 - Monday 23 February 2009 23:06

See, this is where you start leaving flaming bags of sh*t in front of your landlady's door.

By littlec_fml | 0

#24607 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:07

wood stove, dude

COMMENTS

By Easy_Target | 0

#6036 - Monday 23 February 2009 23:06

See, this is where you start leaving flaming bags of sh*t in front of your landlady's door.

jimmyismike | 0

#967601 - Thursday 25 March 2010 1:50

penis

danyfuckinheatle | 0

#1004705 - Monday 24 May 2010 2:00

poo poo poo

ThirteenThirteen | 27

#6302123 - Tuesday 26 May 2015 17:44

#15 Thank you for your contribution.

By littlec_fml | 0

#24607 - Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:07

wood stove, dude

By lol_seriously | 0

#58399 - Wednesday 25 March 2009 23:20

15 people put "you deserved that one"

I mean seriously what the hell?!

By au_2012 | 0

#91726 - Wednesday 8 April 2009 2:41

thats nuthin..live in nebraska in the dead of winter and then you can complain..or hell come here now! we've got 6" of snow! lol

Gibby_fml | 0

#975062 - Tuesday 6 April 2010 7:14

6 inches of snow is alot?!? I live in the 'great white north' aka Canada. we have 3 feet of snow in one day. suck it up. and, op, suck it up. one degree is warm.

bandgeek1575 | 5

#2147324 - Thursday 3 March 2011 20:58

we got 15' last year. beat that.

TheBigWaffle | 6

#2679369 - Tuesday 14 June 2011 15:09

I got 11 feet last year, so I win

LuxAeterna_fml | 0

#3710661 - Saturday 10 December 2011 10:17

I have 2 feet.

silentbutfunny | 0

#3896988 - Tuesday 17 January 2012 6:10

Thus year we got 2.... "

By ayvada | 0

#190707 - Tuesday 12 May 2009 5:59

Man, you totally can't complain. It's May, and we just had snow.
1 degree in mid-december would be a complete blessing!

By typicalyetnot15 | 0

#523037 - Saturday 29 August 2009 1:39

you people know nothing of what winter is! I live in northern Alberta, and November-March it is -40 some winters. And no just because I live in Northern Canada does not mean I live in a danm igloo. I have never seen one before . But really stop complianing get a space heater or something safer and stop whining! LOL

kristinaferens | 0

#966369 - Monday 22 March 2010 19:43

LOL yea I live in Winnipeg! people complain.. -1 degree in December :(
that's swimming weather for most canadians! LOL

Maubinlol | 0

#2692550 - Thursday 16 June 2011 6:47

True that bro! It was snowing in March!

By batj03l | 0

#610798 - Thursday 8 October 2009 22:24

You don't know what winter is right? Where I live,wich is in New Brunswick,Canada we have winters with -40, -1 is REALLY fun to have during winter around here..

By Giant85 | 0

#785184 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 1:02

yeah well....I live in Colorado and it snows and it's cold at times so...HA! think you know winters

By HamsteronA | 0

#787194 - Wednesday 20 January 2010 23:31

stop showing off how cold your winter is it's spamming it up and we all know 1 degree isn't cold. STFU

sicpupyz122 | 0

#929283 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 17:35

all u shut up. u guys thinks it's so cool to have -40 degree weather and that-1 is nothing. well u guys won't be so smug wen ops having 80 degrees summer like me and ur summers r 20 degrees. get a life

kristinaferens | 0

#966370 - Monday 22 March 2010 19:44

do you think we ENJOY -40 weather? no

sunshineegirl | 2

#1273389 - Friday 20 August 2010 2:14

wow 11.. in ND we have 70-100 degree summers and 30 to -60 degree winters. most of the time it's below zero in winter and at least 80 in summer. so stfu.

By alekss_fml | 0

#792358 - Saturday 23 January 2010 3:29

wow live my life and youll be happy 1de even exists