Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months and I finally had sex. He sounds like Chewbacca when he comes. FML
Today, while my girlfriend was going down on me, she looked up at me and said, in a high-pitched voice, "Yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy!" FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML
Today, my boyfriend called my vagina "Chewbacca". FML
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Top comments
Askzombie 14
Well you volunteered as tribute.
AninOnin 24
Tell him his junk looks like an elephant, and flap his balls like Dumbo's ears.
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Comments (155)
Saddyohh 13
If you can laugh during or after sex then the power of your humor is very strong! Even more so if your penis is lacking.
beckiebear 15
Let her ****** look like a bird? Or let her boyfriend say that? Both seem out of her control.
beckiebear 15
I think a sense of humor in the bedroom is excellent.
marcelmg 10
Tell him that Mockingjays eat worms, especially small ones.
kmartFTW 12
I laughed at this comment way too hard. HILARIOUS.
xSkittle 16
I actually think it's pretty funny
speakersboom 19
stop Mocking OP, you guys. Jay-sus Christ...
raphanne_fml 33
Wow Julien, it's the first time I see you on the English version of FML.
karlcolt45 19
I don't have labia or anything, so I'm no expert...but wouldn't that hurt??
OptimusVader 23
No, labia are just little flaps of extra skin and tissue that surround and sort of "protect" the ******. It's kinda like flapping around a flaccid penis. No pain unless you pull really hard or something.
karlcolt45 19
well pulling just sounding rough
Gearden 8
#29 I'm pretty sure you don't know what a labia is...
mrlopez 13
She needs the odds now that she was mocked by her boyfriend :)
JohnTheLad 13
Is OP not happy about a comparison in the first place? or was it the actual deed of comparison itself? Could the OP have specist attitude towards mockingjays? Who knows but one. I don't think the act of saying something such as that would be grounds to take offense; unless there was no true meaning, behind those words that he said. I hope he was being genuine (or not malicious) and had good-will and intentions. I guess it goes to more detail from the OP.
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
I wouldn't mind if my partner did that.