Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML
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By
firepanda11
| 7
What a pussy
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TorturedXeno
| 27
Pussy-whipped, more like?
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LightningCactus
| 12
You're a lucky man! You have two pussies to play with!
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Cheeley
| 17
34- He sure does, it just seems as though one of them is a little too rough.
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Danielle7994
| 18
It seems like they both treated him poorly
By
Ambient25
| 24
Well sounds like you're not getting or playing with any pussy tonight...
By
brammerderambam
| 8
Bring it back to te vet again and come back with a dog ;)
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sux4u121
| 10
Come back with a pelt.
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Ambient25
| 24
A pelt or dog, both work. Preferably a Husky though :)
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klimpomppp
| 9
Husky & exquisite feline pelt bed.
Problem solving like a sir
Problem solving like a sir
By
noelasis94
| 18
You should have sang pussy cat pussy cat I love you yes I do, the cat might have only bit you once.
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Ambient25
| 24
or "cat, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance and I dance dance dance"
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kmccain
| 27
or "soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr."
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Ambient25
| 24
or "and the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon, little boy blue and the man on the moon"
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Knightchaser27
| 25
But the cat isn't sick
By
NickaPLZ
| 26
A woman's love for her cat is strong.
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SpicyDuck
| 22
Poor kitty ):
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Prolux_fml
| 23
56 - Why "Poor kitty"? It's with it's owner at home. What a rough life.
By
Kalipczo
| 21
What can I say? She wants the pussy.
By
ThePsyche
| 9
Next time, forget to come back with the cat.
By
Adula
| 14
That cat is her baby.
By
Wizardo
| 33
What can we say, she loves her pussy more than a dick...
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Ambient25
| 24
a moment of silence for our fallen comrade
By
DocBastard
| 38
For fuck's sake, people! How many trite, overused goddamned pussy jokes are you people going to make?
New material! NOW!
New material! NOW!
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Ambient25
| 24
Hey man we're limited by creativity lol
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ThePsyche
| 9
Seriously, these vagina jokes aren't funny, period.
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Wizardo
| 33
Yo Doc, you glad you're not training to become a gynaecologist?
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Ambient25
| 24
Nice one Psyche
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Pleonasm
| 34
Thank goodness someone around here is setting things straight.
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ManInTheMachine
| 19
New material? Okay, here it goes...
I'd like to paws and apologize, OP, for your wife's complete disregard fur your feelings. Purr-haps she didn't realize you got injured? Or maybe she was lion about being with her cat, and is really cheetahng on you?
I'd say you have tabby open to all possibilities. Still, I hope you'll be feline better soon.
..that's all I've got, I'm all out of puns.
I'd like to paws and apologize, OP, for your wife's complete disregard fur your feelings. Purr-haps she didn't realize you got injured? Or maybe she was lion about being with her cat, and is really cheetahng on you?
I'd say you have tabby open to all possibilities. Still, I hope you'll be feline better soon.
..that's all I've got, I'm all out of puns.
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Ambient25
| 24
A little Liger on the cat references and this would have been purr-fect
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gc327072
| 29
Ehh MITM, we have a lot of puns too, but in the wake of all the pussy jokes, that's much better.
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ThePsyche
| 9
I was just kitten, Doc. I apawlogize if I offended anyone, claws frankly I'm a very nice purrson.
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JadeWinter
| 16
*claps hands* that was thoroughly entertaining! Love it :P
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klimpomppp
| 9
Doc, what did you expect
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perdix
| 29
#12, Today, I almost killed something about 20 times my size that would have given me fresh meat for about 3 months. It got away and it's mate insists on stroking me. FML.
or
In Soviet Russia, pussy eats man!
or
In Soviet Russia, pussy eats man!
Reply
Ambient25
| 24
stop
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Wimoweh
| 10
drop
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abrookec2011
| 14
And roll.
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alchemist27
| 13
I think I love 29
New material! NOW!