Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home from work to find the lock to my bike busted and my bike stolen. The worst part was a nicer bike was sitting right next to it without a lock. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, my motorcycle was stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, the thief drove past me. Twice. FML
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from a train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I'd parked my bike, only to find that my bike had been stolen. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. Partially. Since I always locked it up, some asswipe thought it would be funny to steal the handlebar stem and the seat, leaving the actual handlebar dangling by the brake cables. Since there was no way to steer or sit, I had to carry my bike one mile back to my dorm. FML
Today, after a long workout I come back to my locker, to find my lock had been cut. I looked inside realizing my phone and iPod had been stolen. If that wasn't bad enough, my keys were gone. I ran out to the parking lot to find an empty spot where my car had once been parked. FML
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Top comments
kellanlvr 1
Grand Theft Auto: Bike Edition
moop256 10
well you have to rip off the bicycle seat and see to it he is anally raped by the pole while he makes his get away ;)
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Comments (262)
Miq94 0
hahahaha pussy
whyXD 13
You should go crying to your mommy.
ColorfulDonut 7
first comments have declined to an all time low.
KatrinaKitten 16
We predict a record high wave of idiocy in the upcoming weeks.
ifailplzinsultme 0
Getting punched doesn't make you a pussy. However, acting tough on the internet does.
Blazingcrono 6
Hey Katrina, want to start a conversation? Buuuut, to stay on topic (of this comment), you guys should try putting yourself in his shoes. Maybe he got wacked in the head from behind and nearly died trying to get his bike back.
BITERPHOBIA 6
I like eating cats
humzizzl3 0
major pussy, no one is touching my bike son
GrahamAker 3
Most ******* are from Belgium. Just try to prove me wrong.
imosim 0
53, France.
bravesfan112233 0
call the police
dolphincheddar 10
43 I like eating people who eat cats.
selbow 3
dude you left the key in the lock. enough said
tateh22 1
43, ur a douche bag.
purplepizza21 0
43- gtfo douch
Jownz345 3
like a boss
pertained 12
lool someone needs to learn karate from the maintenance man!
klonopin_ftw 0
it's quite annoying when people complain about stupid first comments. don't like it, don't visit FML. that simple.
KatrinaKitten 16
87, lyk 0mg, l0000l ur such a hypocrit!! Follow your own advice....
dolphincheddar 10
actually 88, 87 is complaining about people who complain about the first comment, he's not complaining about complainers who complain about complaining about the first comment.
KatrinaKitten 16
95, Thanks for the clarification and the mindfuck.
dolphincheddar 10
98, your very welcome
welandedonthemoo 5
95&98 lmfao u guys made my day. thanks
Jownz345 3
I'm hungry
deprived13 3
i agree lol
gbreck 0
just lol
alpaquette91 9
just.... dumb
KatrinaKitten 16
Just..fail.
alpaquette91 9
hey 58 try being original...
KatrinaKitten 16
Hey, 65, I hope that your ******* dog turns into an octupus on LSD and chokes you to tears. Love, Katrina.
nicobington 1
love the pic 2
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
2 I really love the pic :D
SirWrangler 5
Katrina, I like your imagination and creativity but where does the dog come in?
KatrinaKitten 16
91, It's a long story, but you asked. He (I'll assume that..) for that matter was at PetLand, home of the puppy mill dogs, crowded places, a really huge pedophile attraction overall. He was simply browsing the puppies, hoping to lure a young girl into his trailer, and he found a poodle. He had read online that poodles were all the well, rage. So he adopted him. PetLand failed to do any background checks and overlooked any sex offender history, as is their way when their main goal is profit. Well, that's how he got his puppy.
alpaquette91 9
I'm a chick retard and I don't have a dog so great job making yourself look like an idiot..
KatrinaKitten 16
You're a chick retard? Oh, wait, did you mean, "You're a chick, retard..." I wouldn't be so sure about that.
dolphincheddar 10
settle down. tampons were created for a reason you know
KatrinaKitten 16
To be pulled down by your boyfriend who thinks it's a thread hanging off of your bikini in public.
alpaquette91 9
People are so immature, gosh. She flipped out because I told her to be original, then I defended myself after being called a male pedophile... WOW
dolphincheddar 10
that's delightfully scrumptious
KatrinaKitten 16
LYK 0MG WOW PEEEPLE AREENT LYYK LISTENING TO MEHH ON THE INTERNETZZZ i feel neglecctteeddzzz!! Lyk. 0MmmmffG, I am LYK so angryy rite now someone help me. Someone seriously shoot me. And I was referring a previous FML, not any personal experience or anything, dolphincheddar.
dolphincheddar 10
ahh ok good, that would be unfortunate. your purposeful spelling failure is quite amusing
Madiluvsyuh98 2
75-lmao
ColorfulDonut 7
alpaquette91 you might aswell shut up everything you say makes you sound like a whiny little baby... :x
lackofhobby 2
2- You're not the only one
Friaza 29
The comments of FML's isn't your diary.
kellanlvr 1
Grand Theft Auto: Bike Edition
daxter136 0
grand theft bicycle
noemi14 0
true !! (:
imosim 0
you can already steel bikes in grand theft auto :P
Cleao18317 11
steal*
imosim 0
**** off 22 that was very unessisary
imosim 0
unnecessary* happy trolls?
aussie_gemini 5
unnecessary* lol
volley4eva1698 0
says 31..LOOK AT YO PRO PIC BRO
juicedboi 7
This is an FML for the thief. He is so bad at being a criminal that he resorts to stealing a bicycle, forcing him to exercise. Poor guy..
changesinme 0
jack someone (smaller than you) elses bike, at least it would be some self consolation
skittlesss 0
haha !
Jakaroo 0
hey why did you have to steal??Give him back the bike!
tjv3 10
you should have fought back, not left your keys in the lock, and you should have taken off with the bike faster than you did. YDI
Rando77 0
Grab that bike C.J
Houseofpleasure 0
beautiful eyes
Penguinman909 7
Hey I know what it's like to have your bike stolen. I recently had my two day old bike stolen while I was in class. it was even under a CCTV camera but the dolts operating the security of the college didn't have half the cameras turned on because it was during the day and 'no one would steal a bike mid-day'...
cptcook 0
I had that shit happen to me, except I stole the bike to begin with and some hoodlum stole it from me a week later so j had to scout him out and steal it back ,minus the getting punched part and stolen from me again lol fyl son
a_nutritionist 10
@200 i can summarise that bullshit in a few words: im a giant twat. youre welcome, you giant twat.
missmurderx 8
Don't steal bikes, OP. Two wrongs don't make a right!
suprmidgt 0
that's a good word, twat.
batmanpete 0
thats an FML moment
clmsntgrs 2
you're heaps cute
HollyoaksFan93 9
Fight back?
kmumma 3
hard to do when your on the ground wandering what just happened
iSitt 0
and the second bike may have only looked like his bike.
HannahForbesxo 13
"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." -Isaac Asimov. I don't think fighting back would be the best course of action in this situation.
goshpeople 4
The best course of action: don't leave your key in the bike lock. Of course, that won't deter all thieves, but it would definitely help.
wonderweasel6cuh 0
zldcKokstzuyxijvy
AnonymousTroll 2
243-No, spamming doesn't do a damn thing.
SirObvious 1
and you are sure it was your bike?
Blazingcrono 6
I'm sure there's a license plate on that bike that screams out OP's name. If not, there's always that quote: "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too."
fatraptorjesus13 9
bikes are surprisingly unique only one I've seen one like mine and it but there's little things like certain scratches you remember for whatever reason
a_nutritionist 10
we can assume there was something identifying about it. perhaps they had it repainted, damage to a particular area, paint scratches etc. its not difficult to identify your own property when its something you use all the time as it picks up identifiers. this however assumes the OP isnt a complete moron, so it could go either way.
christinez13 0
go get him!
TheFamilyGuy 0
My question is was the bike stealer black? >_>
TBMFan 0
Involuntary Manslaughter o.o jk ! -.-
bellakaykid 6
Knee him in the balls and take back your bike.
gabe2014 0
or take your lock, lock up the bike right where it's at, and then get it tomorrow. but I feel ya. my 800 dollar bmx bike was stolen. I found it in pieces rusting... still fixing it.
moop256 10
well you have to rip off the bicycle seat and see to it he is anally raped by the pole while he makes his get away ;)
Fou_fml 0
I lul'd so hard. Good one.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
That's an awesome Idea, #8 xD
MrSassypants 33
I actually find it more comfortable that way. ;)
DeadRob 13
omg that was like the greatest comment. i actually was gonna say that myself!!!
mfjkr 10
I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.
volley4eva1698 0
good to know
Jorcar 8
10 I admire the Queen reference there.
koe4 0
BIIIcyclerace BIIIcyclerace...
jmk1469 5
I hate people like him. that's why I always carry around a pocketknife.
lylasgurgur 12
That is very smart, but scary for the people who do try to mess with you
nlr 9
isn't that illegal?
koe4 0
not if its a hunting knife and you have a hunting license and you just happen to have the hunting knife on you for selfprotection in the event of an assualt, theft etc.
AppleCoFreak 0
Dude your kidding me right?
deadbabyjesus 2
it depends where you live to the laws.
prince122 0
I used to carry a 6 inch blade just to feel safe.
pandabearsmiles 0
It's not illegal to carry a knife at all. If you go to a placr like a store or something, that has a sign posted saying no weaponry/firearms whatever, then it IS illegal to have it, IF the blade is more tham 3 inches long. If it's shorter than three inches it technically doesn't qualify as a weapon. It's also illegal to have one at all in a federal building or past baggage check at an airport.
prince122 0
it is illegal to carry a blade larger than 3 inches unless your 18 where I live.
Necromal 2
not necessarily true 211. 3 inches is the law in some states but in Texas its any folding, single edged blade < or = 5 and a half inches