By dullstuff - 21/07/2011 12:34 - Belgium

Today, my bike got stolen because I left my keys in the lock. On my way home, I saw my bike in front of a store, unlocked. I jumped on it, only to get punched in the face by the guy that had taken it, and got it stolen from me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 532
You deserved it 13 886

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Grand Theft Auto: Bike Edition

well you have to rip off the bicycle seat and see to it he is anally raped by the pole while he makes his get away ;)

Comments

hahahaha pussy

You should go crying to your mommy.

first comments have declined to an all time low.

We predict a record high wave of idiocy in the upcoming weeks.

Getting punched doesn't make you a pussy. However, acting tough on the internet does.

Hey Katrina, want to start a conversation? Buuuut, to stay on topic (of this comment), you guys should try putting yourself in his shoes. Maybe he got wacked in the head from behind and nearly died trying to get his bike back.

I like eating cats

major pussy, no one is touching my bike son

Most Pussies are from Belgium. Just try to prove me wrong.

43 I like eating people who eat cats.

dude you left the key in the lock. enough said

43, ur a douche bag.

lool someone needs to learn karate from the maintenance man!

it's quite annoying when people complain about stupid first comments. don't like it, don't visit FML. that simple.

87, lyk 0mg, l0000l ur such a hypocrit!! Follow your own advice....

actually 88, 87 is complaining about people who complain about the first comment, he's not complaining about complainers who complain about complaining about the first comment.

95, Thanks for the clarification and the mindfuck.

98, your very welcome

95&98 lmfao u guys made my day. thanks

hey 58 try being original...

Hey, 65, I hope that your fucking dog turns into an octupus on LSD and chokes you to tears. Love, Katrina.

2 I really love the pic :D

Katrina, I like your imagination and creativity but where does the dog come in?

91, It's a long story, but you asked. He (I'll assume that..) for that matter was at PetLand, home of the puppy mill dogs, crowded places, a really huge pedophile attraction overall. He was simply browsing the puppies, hoping to lure a young girl into his trailer, and he found a poodle. He had read online that poodles were all the well, rage. So he adopted him. PetLand failed to do any background checks and overlooked any sex offender history, as is their way when their main goal is profit. Well, that's how he got his puppy.

I'm a chick retard and I don't have a dog so great job making yourself look like an idiot..

You're a chick retard? Oh, wait, did you mean, "You're a chick, retard..." I wouldn't be so sure about that.

settle down. tampons were created for a reason you know

To be pulled down by your boyfriend who thinks it's a thread hanging off of your bikini in public.

People are so immature, gosh. She flipped out because I told her to be original, then I defended myself after being called a male pedophile... WOW

that's delightfully scrumptious

LYK 0MG WOW PEEEPLE AREENT LYYK LISTENING TO MEHH ON THE INTERNETZZZ i feel neglecctteeddzzz!! Lyk. 0MmmmffG, I am LYK so angryy rite now someone help me. Someone seriously shoot me. And I was referring a previous FML, not any personal experience or anything, dolphincheddar.

ahh ok good, that would be unfortunate. your purposeful spelling failure is quite amusing

alpaquette91 you might aswell shut up everything you say makes you sound like a whiny little baby... :x

2- You're not the only one

The comments of FML's isn't your diary.

Grand Theft Auto: Bike Edition

grand theft bicycle

you can already steel bikes in grand theft auto :P

fuck off 22 that was very unessisary

unnecessary* happy trolls?

says 31..LOOK AT YO PRO PIC BRO

This is an FML for the thief. He is so bad at being a criminal that he resorts to stealing a bicycle, forcing him to exercise. Poor guy..

jack someone (smaller than you) elses bike, at least it would be some self consolation

hey why did you have to steal??Give him back the bike!

you should have fought back, not left your keys in the lock, and you should have taken off with the bike faster than you did. YDI

Grab that bike C.J

Hey I know what it's like to have your bike stolen. I recently had my two day old bike stolen while I was in class. it was even under a CCTV camera but the dolts operating the security of the college didn't have half the cameras turned on because it was during the day and 'no one would steal a bike mid-day'...

I had that shit happen to me, except I stole the bike to begin with and some hoodlum stole it from me a week later so j had to scout him out and steal it back ,minus the getting punched part and stolen from me again lol fyl son

@200 i can summarise that bullshit in a few words: im a giant twat. youre welcome, you giant twat.

Don't steal bikes, OP. Two wrongs don't make a right!

that's a good word, twat.

thats an FML moment

you're heaps cute

hard to do when your on the ground wandering what just happened

and the second bike may have only looked like his bike.

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent." -Isaac Asimov. I don't think fighting back would be the best course of action in this situation.

The best course of action: don't leave your key in the bike lock. Of course, that won't deter all thieves, but it would definitely help.

243-No, spamming doesn't do a damn thing.

and you are sure it was your bike?

I'm sure there's a license plate on that bike that screams out OP's name. If not, there's always that quote: "what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine too."

bikes are surprisingly unique only one I've seen one like mine and it but there's little things like certain scratches you remember for whatever reason

we can assume there was something identifying about it. perhaps they had it repainted, damage to a particular area, paint scratches etc. its not difficult to identify your own property when its something you use all the time as it picks up identifiers. this however assumes the OP isnt a complete moron, so it could go either way.

My question is was the bike stealer black? >_>

Involuntary Manslaughter o.o jk ! -.-

Knee him in the balls and take back your bike.

or take your lock, lock up the bike right where it's at, and then get it tomorrow. but I feel ya. my 800 dollar bmx bike was stolen. I found it in pieces rusting... still fixing it.

well you have to rip off the bicycle seat and see to it he is anally raped by the pole while he makes his get away ;)

I lul'd so hard. Good one.

That's an awesome Idea, #8 xD

I actually find it more comfortable that way. ;)

omg that was like the greatest comment. i actually was gonna say that myself!!!

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.

10 I admire the Queen reference there.

BIIIcyclerace BIIIcyclerace...

I hate people like him. that's why I always carry around a pocketknife.

That is very smart, but scary for the people who do try to mess with you

isn't that illegal?

not if its a hunting knife and you have a hunting license and you just happen to have the hunting knife on you for selfprotection in the event of an assualt, theft etc.

Dude your kidding me right?

it depends where you live to the laws.

I used to carry a 6 inch blade just to feel safe.

It's not illegal to carry a knife at all. If you go to a placr like a store or something, that has a sign posted saying no weaponry/firearms whatever, then it IS illegal to have it, IF the blade is more tham 3 inches long. If it's shorter than three inches it technically doesn't qualify as a weapon. It's also illegal to have one at all in a federal building or past baggage check at an airport.

it is illegal to carry a blade larger than 3 inches unless your 18 where I live.

not necessarily true 211. 3 inches is the law in some states but in Texas its any folding, single edged blade < or = 5 and a half inches