Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
Porshia 0
2 piece and a biscuit lol
skyeyez9 25
It was most likely carried off by a hawk, coyote or neighbor's dog rather than ran away.
cre8or99 0
Why dont chickens were pants? Cus there peckers on there head. lololololololololololol
MissRoxiie 12
Be happy, you got dinner for free ;)
RabbitPressure1 6
Who the hell keeps a pet chicken? *says the person who has a pet human locked in their basement. MWAHAHA*
cufaoil 11
perhaps for fresh eggs?
anongrl 2
Keeping a chicken for it's eggs doesn't make it a pet. I doubt most farmers see there chickens as pets. After so long they probably kill them for food once they stop producing eggs.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I have a pet midget. Do you want to pet him? He doesn't bite.... Often... But damn does it hurt.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for eating chicken at all.
boatsnhoes9769 0
Who has a pet chicken?
MerrikBarbarian 9
I do. they are very smart. they make my dog look stupid
mejiiaa 0
I do bitch
sarahrocrocrocks 5
OMG!!!!! EWW A CHICKEN?! their dirtyy... & arent they viciousss??
magicdragon5 2
chickens are not vicious.
iceildor 6
And they certainly ain't dirty
darknova131 4
I have 12 chickens lol it would suck if one ran away
airjordan007 7
Really? Out of all the animals in the world and you choose a chicken to be your pet