Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
DeathMaple 3
Your father is a genius. =]
jbaby7892 0
Where'd you get that shit from?!
jbaby7892 0
Sorry meant to post that for the comment below... (perdix)
chahacha599 0
Ur Dad is AWESOME
iampetard 0
KFC is so good for you
rbtl10 2
Your dog probably went there anyways. Good thinking dad
iEatGuppies 0
dog? what the hell are you talking about? she's not from china!
Amrel 10
Your dad was trying to cheer you up i guess but, at least your not a vegetarian or a vegan
YoLauryn 0
Beloved chicken? Really? Smh..
crizzy101 5
That is the greatest father EVER!
Mirorbo 27
Reminds me of when my fish died and a friend took me to a seafood restaurant to cheer me up. Didn't realize what he'd done until after the fact, however. We laughed about it in the end. I REALLY don't want to believe the setup was on purpose, darling.
Ketchup_Castle 30
Sounds like he mentioned buying you chicken to eat as a joke.
munrochambers 0
you have a pet chicken..?