Animals: Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught... - FML

By xXangelaXx - 21/08/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 091

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Same thing different taste

Meat is murder

By lanbon182 - 10/04/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251 763

You deserved it 31 278

RIP

By Anonymous - 18/11/2022 22:00 - Australia

Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 430

Out on the town

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 114

Urges

By Anonymous - 29/05/2021 04:01

Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 935

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 343

You deserved it 4 175

Storage wars

By Will - 19/08/2021 08:02

Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 861

By samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 736

You deserved it 4 364

By Loveless - 05/06/2011 12:23 - Canada

Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 512

You deserved it 8 199

By RIPJarJar - 20/10/2017 22:18

Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 606

You deserved it 488

By Anonymous - 24/11/2011 10:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I got trapped in an elevator with a chicken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 723

You deserved it 4 236

Next

Top comments

Porschephile 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:39

Your dad has a sense of humor

BooGhosted 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:42

Get fries.

Comments

DeathMaple 3

Monday 22 August 2011 1:44

Your father is a genius. =]

jbaby7892 0

Monday 22 August 2011 4:29

Where'd you get that shit from?!

jbaby7892 0

Monday 22 August 2011 4:32

Sorry meant to post that for the comment below... (perdix)

chahacha599 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:45

Ur Dad is AWESOME

iampetard 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:46

KFC is so good for you

rbtl10 2

Monday 22 August 2011 1:50

Your dog probably went there anyways. Good thinking dad

iEatGuppies 0

Monday 22 August 2011 5:23

dog? what the hell are you talking about? she's not from china!

Amrel 10

Monday 22 August 2011 1:50

Your dad was trying to cheer you up i guess but, at least your not a vegetarian or a vegan

YoLauryn 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:51

Beloved chicken? Really? Smh..

crizzy101 5

Monday 22 August 2011 1:52

That is the greatest father EVER!

Mirorbo 26

Monday 22 August 2011 1:52

Reminds me of when my fish died and a friend took me to a seafood restaurant to cheer me up. Didn't realize what he'd done until after the fact, however. We laughed about it in the end. I REALLY don't want to believe the setup was on purpose, darling.

Ketchup_Castle 30

Monday 22 August 2011 1:54

Sounds like he mentioned buying you chicken to eat as a joke.

munrochambers 0

Monday 22 August 2011 1:55

you have a pet chicken..?

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The Top

Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally, I'll lick spilled drinks off my arms and being slightly intoxicated, I did. Then I realized it was chunky. The girl dancing next to us had puked everywhere and I licked her vomit off my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 020

You deserved it 115 204

Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to scare me by tilting the portable street toilets while I was taking a dump in one of them. One of my friends accidentally rocked it too hard and it fell on the floor. They wouldn't even let me sit in the car after because I had shit all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 140

You deserved it 3 777

Today, I woke up late to an urgent voicemail from my dad telling me he left me a present in my car. Excited, I went to investigate. I then saw that his "surprise" was fresh fish he had caught. I hate fish, and now my car stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 892

You deserved it 3 606

Today, I got home from work, took a shower, got ready for bed, and laid down right in cat piss. Now I'm shampooing the mattress and taking another shower just to sleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 881

You deserved it 410

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 653

You deserved it 7 587

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 979

You deserved it 4 831

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 1 684