Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
frosh2 9
One of my turkeys got eaten alive by a racoon :( I understand ur grief. :'(
cufaoil 11
I could really go for some fried chicken.... sorry your pet has disappeared, I do hope that nothing untoward has happened... seems to be a lot of parent and pet related FML's of late...
cooxoxo 9
Something my dad would do! Haha :)
anongrl 2
Who in the world would wanna pet chicken? I can't see them making good pets. At all.
iceildor 6
They are good pets and if you get a few of them they keep weeds down fertilize the yard and keep the insect levels down
ChuckNorris141 0
Why are people actin so suppr
ChuckNorris141 0
Sorry about the last comment but why are people actin so surprised that he/she has a pet chicken, I got 12 of em there not bad and they taste great
KoolKat369 5
It's the thought that counts.
nateiztite 5
I feed chickens to my Burmese python
Ninjaflipsz 0
faaake....
Jay1_fml 0
You wouldnt happen to be that crazy girl from iCarly, would you?