Today, my beloved pet chicken ran away from home. I got so distraught that my dad offered to buy me dinner. Specifically, KFC. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML
Today, while I was staying at a farm for a few nights, I got really connected to a chicken I met. It was so tame and really cuddly. I legit loved it so much. Later on, we had chicken for dinner. It was the same chicken. He also had a name. FML
Today, I was busy working on a paper, so my parents offered to go get me some Mexican food. Eager for some nachos, I thanked them. At 9 p.m. they weren't back, so I called. They weren't in an accident, but spontaneously buying a new car without telling me. They didn't return until 11 p.m. with cold, greasy KFC. FML
Today, as I fed my dog his dinner of chicken offal, a drumstick, a wing, a mackerel, and a raw egg, my dad bitched and moaned that I waste money feeding him meat instead of just buying the cheapest kibble at the store. FML
Today, I accidentally bought chicken fingers. I couldn't even make it two days as a vegetarian. FML
Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML
Today, I went without my phone all day, because my roommate moved it. Because I'd left it in the fridge. On top of a bucket of KFC. Which he ate. FML
Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
Today, my husband gave our three-year-old son a lesson on life and death. He did this by slaughtering our pet chicken for dinner in front of him. My son has been crying for hours. FML
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Top comments
Porschephile 0
Your dad has a sense of humor
BooGhosted 0
Get fries.
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Comments (196)
Dominodev 3
That's what happens when you try to keep food as a pet...
mercurieangel 0
Chickens don't run away from home, someone probably stole it or your dad had it butchered. We had chickens growing up and they roamed free and never "ran away" from home. And how the hell is this a FML? Get another chicken they aren't expensive and stop your pathetic whining over a chicken.
cherryleaf23 7
You obviously have never had a chicken. Or maybe never had a pet? Because pet chickens are just as loved as pet dogs or cats. I have pet chickens. And you know what? One of them jumps on my lap and sleeps there. I'd like to see someone say that's not cute at all.
Akenta 0
oh jeez thats sad
lolol_BKYCHO 3
Chickens are a lot smarter than I thought. My neighbor's 50+ chickens come thundering up every time they see me because I feed them.
gaga_fierce 0
How ironic.
Zombie65 0
Tooooooo funnyyyyy
bubo_fml 11
Don't worry 'bout it...These days, K.F.C. stands for "Kats From Chinatown!"
MaryPoppins88 14
Uh oh don't ask where he got the chicken!
Jaytext1 0
Beloved chicken FML for reading this.
M0rt 0
your father = my hero