Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I returned a friend's jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Today, for my mom's birthday, I couldn't figure out what to get her, so I just took some of her jewelry, wrapped it up, and re-gifted it. She recognized it instantly. FML
Today, my mother scolded me for having a lighter in my room. My reason I had it? The candle that she bought me for my 25th birthday. I don't even live with her anymore, she showed up uninvited, and started going through my stuff. FML
Today, my cousin got married. I was cold so I went to get my jacket from my car. While leaving I saw my cousin walking around the front of the venue. I told her she looked beautiful in her dress. She looked up and said, "Where is my beer, have you seen my beer?" and threw up on me. FML
Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the couch after a long day with my annoying aunt when I heard my sister come in from the garage. I loudly asked, "Do you think Aunt Stacy knows everybody doesn't like her?" It wasn't my sister. It was my aunt returning my purse I had left in her car. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML
Today, my roommate gave me a self-help book on alcoholism for my birthday. He's an alcoholic. I gave him that book around 8 months ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
KrazieKleo 13
Gift it back to her for Christmas!!
JustDerpin 11
That username.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (56)
Welshite 40
Look on the bright side OP, she cared enough about you to infuse your jacket with the memories of her late nights and partying. She wanted to share her life with you.
lacespace 8
Bravo
perdix 31
This time when you wear it, people might think you have a personality.
Laurenlou 24
"
secretsymbiote21 5
wow! thats pretty messed up. and get it washed OP.
Enslaved 38
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
perdix 31
I'll find out tomorrow night.
Enslaved 38
Bragging? Lucky you! Bring a camera. I'm sure there'll be some hot MLF groupies at your Adam Ant concert! ;)
liv_graham 7
I'd say light a bunch of cigarettes and cover her floors in alcohol, but her house probably already smells like that.
Obvious8 3
You're a guy, your aunt is a girl. Why is your jacket something she'd want to borrow?
Welshite 40
OP is female.
VeeDoll13 8
I guess it wasn't that obvious. ;)
olpally 33
Great username... And that's ******* disgusting... Burn it in front of her... Bitch...
texas_redneck88 10
Never thought I'd see the day where an Irish person complained of something reeking of alcohol
Epikouros 32
Don't worry, after you wear it for a few days, it'll smell of bubblebuttfuckfarts again.