By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks 35 317
You deserved it 9 426

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!


Does your daughter happen to overhear you and your partner's late night escapades, by any chance?

Trisha_aus 15

Oh lord what has she been watching on TV? But op is a 'Bad mommy' so...sound proof doors

Trisha_aus 15

Oh lord Op! Sound proof doors for Bad Mommy

ReptarRAWR23 0

10- I think she needs sound proof walls!

Fishinaddict22 1

Might also be what they let the daughter watch or what they watch when the daughter is in the room. Kids catch on fast lol.

Fishinaddict22 1

Talking about TV btw. Just re-read what I wrote and it just sounds wrong...

I first read this as "I found out today that my daughter's kindergarten teacher plays 'grown up' with my daughter, which is basically dry humping her." Then I read it as "I found out today that my daughter's kindergarten teacher makes her play grown up with her male students." Finally, I read it correctly. The first two were much more FMLy.

Well considering the child was acting it out and not just making the noises, I'm pretty sure she has seen way more than she should. Poor kid.

Llamacod 11

no, the first two were much more criminal prosecutey

Mommas gunna love her teenage years...

I did the same thing :) its sometimes better the Mis read way!

In about 11 years, get ready to see OP's daughter be on 16 and Pregnant.

winnerme123 8

85- I read this the same way.

Hey its not a party until you get the whole class to join! lol

126, That's exactly what I thought! The little girl probably watches the show, while her parents don't realize or care, and thinks it will be fun. Kids are growing up too fast these days!

That's disgusting you pedophile piece of shyt.

SpikyG 3

Well at least her impersonation of "grown-ups" is spot on!

GVirdi 11

34 I could have sworn a few minutes ago you said 2 is fine

Pretty common and normal. Jeez. We all need to lighten up. They are trying to ban hugging in primary schools right now. I think that sucks.

I don't know where your child-experience comes from, but that is not 'common' or 'normal'.

Hey what's up? Oh and 151 you serious about the hugging ban? But hugs make the world go round

reallytho3 11

I don't think it's right to b a grandparent before the mom is in training bras...

Lipbalm80 3

That wouldn't be possible for a little kid who hadn't got their period hahaha

erockinthesuburb 17

Future Career? Bow chicka wow wow!

Aug1508 9

They just start earlier and earlier these days.

I think I actually used to play that too. A little girl of 6 years old taught me that sex is when one lies on top of another and they move... So awkard...

"Th-the c-c-cow says---**** this, I'm gonna be a stripper."

When I was in kindergarten a girl in my class told me grown ups have sex by rubbing their butts together.

When I was in kindergarden the girls in my class would hide in the school doll house and kiss eachother, and persude others to join.

Actually 105 I think that career's started already in the present...

time to get a lock for your bedroom door

If the kid was seeing things as opposed to hearing them, there would probably be nakedness involved also.

GVirdi 11

25 you can't exactly know what someone is doing by hearing them (well sometimes you probably can) but a little kid isn't going to hear moaning and immediately know how to hump without seeing it somewhere

25- Uhm, I don't think Op's daughter heard and perfectly mimicked the dry humping, just the groaning. Kind of suggests to me that she's seeing things as well as hearing them. ;p Edit: Ah, 43 beat me to the punch. :)

Have you watched TV lately? Pretty much anything that isn't on a cartoon channel contains moaning and humping.

Llamacod 11

even cartoon channels have some pretty iffy shows

RedPillSucks 31

That damn "Dora, the Explorer". Now we know what she's exploring.

Actually, years ago, on the very first Batman and Superman cartoon crossover this was said "Where's the Joker?" "I don't know, probably making ha-ha with Harley Quinn". Though not so bad as today in green lantern cartoon movie, some alien chick, stroking a lantern's chest says "why don't these suits come with zippers?"

@ 96 Almost every episode of animaniacs. Have you ever understood why they said “goodnight everybody”?

She going to be very popular some day. They grow up so fast.

#11, you should try the same. Just keep trying, and never give up! You may there some day!

Urgh, freezing phone during editing FTW. get there*

Thank you toast. I edited my comment in time to make sense because of you. My apologies for all of the thumbs down you're getting.

GVirdi 11

38 if 8 is the ship then Toast didn't go down with the ship, Toast went down saving the ship (even though he was trying to burn it at first)

stormer461 13

Does she get paid to play grown ups?

I used to play that with a girl in kindergarten ... Make sure you teach her that sex is for grown ups - otherwise she may become pregnant by the time she is 12... Or worse, like an incurable STD

All kids do weird things unknowingly. It really has no effect on how they'll turn out in the future. They learn what they're doing isn't appropriate eventually.

CaramelMacchiato 13

Humans are sexual beings. Even the innocent ones, ha.

day624 14

Shes been playing hide and go seek with herself and hiding under your bed at night..