Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D

Awe, your poor thing! :( OP can't go without eating as well...

I suggest ordering room service. And don't forget to order desert, because everyone deserves a treat every now and then! ;)

Kids are so naive. Nothing says "Gotcha" like a little fraud. Besides, you need more than a name to get a hotel and room service.

Why check into a hotel? Says OP is trying to leave for work. They already have access to the house...rent a Farrari!

48- Lighten up a little, it was a joke!

Wow, it's hard to believe 23's comment hasn't been attacked by grammar nazis stumbling over themselves to be the first to correct her use of "awe", yet. What slackers.

58: Lol calm down.

Calm down? Sorry, I didn't mean to give the impression that I excessively energetic. That’s why I specifically switched from desserts to deserts so as to replace my sugar intake with sand, guess it didn't work. I thought this was what fml was for: fighting over correct spellings and grammar usage?

No...
FML is for the people who have nothing to do and just want some lulz.
Being a grammar nazi is just an option.

I simply get on for the shits and giggles :)

I simply get on WHILE I shit and giggle.

65:

I hope to God you're joking. Have you never heard the phrase "for shits and giggles" before?

66 - Yes, he's joking. It's called wordplay.

BUY HIM A BOTTLE OPENER FOR THE FUTURE

67:
Thanks for the clarification, but there's no need to be a smartass. Have a nice day.

Shits and giggles???
I thought they said shots and goggles.
I had my goggles on and was just about to pour some schnapps.

65 your not the only one.

I'm too lazy to say that, so I just call it shiggles.

The people on this thread are taking things way too seriously.

58- There should be an exclamation point after "What slackers" instead of a period.

and I thought I was alone...

88- I cannot think of any grammar obligation to use an exclamation mark; it’s purely at the discretion of the author, depending on the feeling they are attempting to convey.

That's just uncanny...

Ikr

Why did you get thumbed down? Does nobody get his pun?

Bottle openers have the same principle as can openers, some of them with serrated edges, and my bottle opener functions as a can opener. Basically, saying "uncanny" is a play on words of the word "can".

It's entirely possible people get the pun and just don't find it funny.

Puns don't necessarily have to be funny.

But it's better if it is funny

canny is also a Scots word. Canny means careful. I.e. 'be canny'. So uncanny means careless, clumsy, etc. So you could also take it as a Scots joke about losing your keys.

Also. I live in Aberdeen city :D. That's pretty cool.

Either way, I found this comment different so therefore it deserved a thumbs up

Yeah well hate to break it to you Cad, but funny comments are what get the most thumbs up. Not everyone appreciates wordplay, and just because it's a pun doesn't mean it'll get thumbed up.

Well how else is he going to open those annoying pop offs? Stop being do shelfish.

Buy one for 2 dollars or take the one OP had off the key chain

I fail at sarcasm sometimes.......

*so selfish

26- Naw, just some people don't understand sarcasm

I don't get why this has so many down votes. It was clearly sarcasm and I thought it was rather humorous.

Oh no, yet another sarcastic comment in question...

No Sometimes it's just hard to realize someone's kidding or being sarcastic when texting or typing. I'm sure it's hard for you too sometimes so don't bust on others for 'not understanding sarcasm'

I'm not busting others, I completely understand. I am in full support of the sarcasm text. However, a lot of people just thumbs down comments because they see that other people are thumbing them down.

Or they have no sense of humor.

Well 41, there's another explanation. Maybe people wanted to thumb that up but accidently thumbed it down?

Haha, maybe so!

78: I didn't realize it said "shelfish" until I read your comment :)

That REALLY sucks, I don't know what I would do in your situation OP. Your dad owes you big time for his stupidity!

No one else has a spare? Your father is so inconsiderate! Payback is a bitch though. Make sure you repay the favor!

Hopefully he doesn't forget them in the sand on the beach after he gets drunk..... Must be nice going to school when your dads on a holiday.

She's late for work not school..

cunt

like a boss is probably the. Stupidest. comment. To ever be posted on FML

Quickly call a locksmith, have him pay for the bill, And most importantly, don't get mad get even!

I'm not an expert on this so please correct me if I'm wrong, but can locksmiths start cars?

@100 Planing on stealing some cars? ;)

101- your a dumb shit, OP was late for work, and probably needed in the car, not in the house.

102-its called a joke no need to be so insulting

I like how you think grasshoppa....

Wow way to overreact there 102. I was making a joke AT HIM. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FML.

Hope you have a spare set OP. That sucks.

Bottle openers are a valuable item! I don't blame him

He could have bought his own or just take it off the keychain. It's not that damn hard.

Ha! Valuble? He could probably get one for a buck where he's going!

People on fml are still failing to detect sarcasm I see. Anyways, thumb up.