Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
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By
4everblackjack
| 10
Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D
By
2oc
| 5
That's just uncanny...
COMMENTS
By
4everblackjack
| 10
Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D
Reply
lavitaebella_fml
| 0
Awe, your poor thing! :( OP can't go without eating as well...
I suggest ordering room service. And don't forget to order desert, because everyone deserves a treat every now and then! ;)
I suggest ordering room service. And don't forget to order desert, because everyone deserves a treat every now and then! ;)
Reply
cajekraze
| 7
Kids are so naive. Nothing says "Gotcha" like a little fraud. Besides, you need more than a name to get a hotel and room service.
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
Why check into a hotel? Says OP is trying to leave for work. They already have access to the house...rent a Farrari!
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nofearjenshere
| 12
48- Lighten up a little, it was a joke!
Reply
runnamuk
| 6
Wow, it's hard to believe 23's comment hasn't been attacked by grammar nazis stumbling over themselves to be the first to correct her use of "awe", yet. What slackers.
Reply
lavitaebella_fml
| 0
58: Lol calm down.
Reply
runnamuk
| 6
Calm down? Sorry, I didn't mean to give the impression that I excessively energetic. That’s why I specifically switched from desserts to deserts so as to replace my sugar intake with sand, guess it didn't work. I thought this was what fml was for: fighting over correct spellings and grammar usage?
Reply
SmeXikoE
| 3
No...
FML is for the people who have nothing to do and just want some lulz.
Being a grammar nazi is just an option.
I simply get on for the shits and giggles :)
FML is for the people who have nothing to do and just want some lulz.
Being a grammar nazi is just an option.
I simply get on for the shits and giggles :)
Reply
XtraEzeee
| 8
I simply get on WHILE I shit and giggle.
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
65:
I hope to God you're joking. Have you never heard the phrase "for shits and giggles" before?
I hope to God you're joking. Have you never heard the phrase "for shits and giggles" before?
Reply
sadistmonkey
| 19
66 - Yes, he's joking. It's called wordplay.
Reply
xoconnie
| 8
BUY HIM A BOTTLE OPENER FOR THE FUTURE
Reply
The_Hitdude
| 12
67:
Thanks for the clarification, but there's no need to be a smartass. Have a nice day.
Thanks for the clarification, but there's no need to be a smartass. Have a nice day.
Reply
RedPillSucks
| 31
Shits and giggles???
I thought they said shots and goggles.
I had my goggles on and was just about to pour some schnapps.
I thought they said shots and goggles.
I had my goggles on and was just about to pour some schnapps.
Reply
gamercanadian
| 11
65 your not the only one.
Reply
TheWindowLicker
| 13
I'm too lazy to say that, so I just call it shiggles.
Reply
lavitaebella_fml
| 0
The people on this thread are taking things way too seriously.
Reply
twisted_cherub
| 14
58- There should be an exclamation point after "What slackers" instead of a period.
Reply
MelTheGreat
| 23
and I thought I was alone...
Reply
runnamuk
| 6
88- I cannot think of any grammar obligation to use an exclamation mark; it’s purely at the discretion of the author, depending on the feeling they are attempting to convey.
By
2oc
| 5
That's just uncanny...
Reply
gurly98
| 13
Ikr
Reply
Cad6
| 24
Why did you get thumbed down? Does nobody get his pun?
Bottle openers have the same principle as can openers, some of them with serrated edges, and my bottle opener functions as a can opener. Basically, saying "uncanny" is a play on words of the word "can".
Bottle openers have the same principle as can openers, some of them with serrated edges, and my bottle opener functions as a can opener. Basically, saying "uncanny" is a play on words of the word "can".
Reply
liindsey
| 25
It's entirely possible people get the pun and just don't find it funny.
Reply
Cad6
| 24
Puns don't necessarily have to be funny.
Reply
TheCaterpiller
| 6
But it's better if it is funny
Reply
tj4234
| 35
canny is also a Scots word. Canny means careful. I.e. 'be canny'. So uncanny means careless, clumsy, etc. So you could also take it as a Scots joke about losing your keys.
Also. I live in Aberdeen city :D. That's pretty cool.
Also. I live in Aberdeen city :D. That's pretty cool.
Reply
EagorLuvsBigFoot
| 8
Either way, I found this comment different so therefore it deserved a thumbs up
Reply
KeyboardWarrior
| 10
Yeah well hate to break it to you Cad, but funny comments are what get the most thumbs up. Not everyone appreciates wordplay, and just because it's a pun doesn't mean it'll get thumbed up.
By
nick315
| 8
Well how else is he going to open those annoying pop offs? Stop being do shelfish.
Reply
loufol22
| 5
Buy one for 2 dollars or take the one OP had off the key chain
Reply
nick315
| 8
I fail at sarcasm sometimes.......
Reply
flamegrilled123
| 3
*so selfish
Reply
GawdamitNappa
| 4
26- Naw, just some people don't understand sarcasm
Reply
ninjadinos
| 14
I don't get why this has so many down votes. It was clearly sarcasm and I thought it was rather humorous.
Reply
KiddNYC1O
| 20
Oh no, yet another sarcastic comment in question...
Reply
Unlucky_Gun
| 0
No Sometimes it's just hard to realize someone's kidding or being sarcastic when texting or typing. I'm sure it's hard for you too sometimes so don't bust on others for 'not understanding sarcasm'
Reply
ninjadinos
| 14
I'm not busting others, I completely understand. I am in full support of the sarcasm text. However, a lot of people just thumbs down comments because they see that other people are thumbing them down.
Or they have no sense of humor.
Or they have no sense of humor.
Reply
Wederoney
| 16
Well 41, there's another explanation. Maybe people wanted to thumb that up but accidently thumbed it down?
Reply
ninjadinos
| 14
Haha, maybe so!
Reply
RocketNinjaFish
| 12
78: I didn't realize it said "shelfish" until I read your comment :)
By
Anai08
| 17
That REALLY sucks, I don't know what I would do in your situation OP. Your dad owes you big time for his stupidity!
By
mhopper
| 13
No one else has a spare? Your father is so inconsiderate! Payback is a bitch though. Make sure you repay the favor!
By
Badbrock
| 6
Hopefully he doesn't forget them in the sand on the beach after he gets drunk..... Must be nice going to school when your dads on a holiday.
Reply
socoolsophie
| 4
She's late for work not school..
By
ohemgefml
| 1
cunt
Reply
KILLERTOAST13
| 4
like a boss is probably the. Stupidest. comment. To ever be posted on FML
By
studdmuffin1990
| 7
Quickly call a locksmith, have him pay for the bill, And most importantly, don't get mad get even!
Reply
XtraEzeee
| 8
I'm not an expert on this so please correct me if I'm wrong, but can locksmiths start cars?
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
@100 Planing on stealing some cars? ;)
Reply
JoeSaysSsso
| 2
101- your a dumb shit, OP was late for work, and probably needed in the car, not in the house.
Reply
stalkerstatus101
| 5
102-its called a joke no need to be so insulting
Reply
JOEGERNAUTT
| 1
I like how you think grasshoppa....
Reply
Michael_92
| 20
Wow way to overreact there 102. I was making a joke AT HIM. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FML.
By
ObsessedWithMe
| 13
Hope you have a spare set OP. That sucks.
By
hornetsbaseball
| 6
Bottle openers are a valuable item! I don't blame him
Reply
THE_A_TEEN
| 27
He could have bought his own or just take it off the keychain. It's not that damn hard.
Reply
Llama_Face89
| 33
Ha! Valuble? He could probably get one for a buck where he's going!
Reply
firecopy
| 6
People on fml are still failing to detect sarcasm I see. Anyways, thumb up.