Miscellaneous: Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had...

By doneanddone - 28/02/2009 17:33 - United States

Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 779

You deserved it 8 746

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Same thing different taste

By Sebastian20 - 08/05/2013 11:05 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 333

You deserved it 15 620

By strandedguest - 30/09/2010 06:51 - United States

Today, while my friend and I signed the guest-book at a wedding, the drunk guy at our table stole my friend's painkillers and car keys before getting into a cab. Didn't need the painkillers, definitely needed the keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 2 880

By FailedEngineer - 20/10/2009 21:31 - Australia

Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 273

You deserved it 35 662

By oneiPodlighter - 10/10/2013 03:03 - United States - Conshohocken

Today, my "friend" came over. I caught him trying to steal my iPod on the way out. Proud of myself for catching him, I asked him to leave, only to realize that I had forgotten to actually take the iPod back from him before he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 971

You deserved it 24 828

Party girl

By Abby - 11/11/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 084

You deserved it 39 626

By keyless - 14/04/2012 15:20 - United Kingdom - Aberdeen

Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 423

You deserved it 2 193

Let em in

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 10:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my neighbour called to say a crazy drunk man was breaking into my house. Thankfully, the police were already there, questioning me about “attempted unlawful entry” into my own house. My keys had been taken from a friend so I wouldn’t drive. It's 1°C and I still haven’t gotten inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 236

Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 113

Drunk dick

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 20:00

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 853

You deserved it 182

Drunken antics

By DevilsTemptation - 29/08/2019 02:01 - United Kingdom - Dundee

Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 777

You deserved it 163

allie2590 31

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:06

That sucks. Watch your keys around drunk people, I guess.

Aviva1313 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 8:12

sounds like maybe he forgot on purpose somebody likes you and wanted you to stay over

Comments

allie2590 31

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:06

That sucks. Watch your keys around drunk people, I guess.

Rach_Rach 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 2:59

Haha, this sorta thing happened to me only someone who was drinking put my phone in his safe. :( Luckily i convinced him to get it out before he was smashed.

Lou_Briccant 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 4:47

Hey #5, since you're the genius here, find the part in this FML where it says the OP was drinking.

Seegtease 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 6:25

...So?

MissSarcasm01 18

Sunday 12 January 2014 19:48

So she couldn't get home

Blind_Ninja 0

Sunday 1 March 2009 8:12

This reminds me of this one time my friend and I were drinking at my house. The both of us were really, really drunk. Something triggered in his head and a good night of drinking turned into him being emotional; both sad and angry. It got to the point where he was so mad that he just wanted to go home. Well, only problem was he couldn't find his keys... so he breaks his own car window with a big rock. Still couldn't find his keys.