Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
4everblackjack 10
Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D
2oc 5
That's just uncanny...
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Comments (122)
immaMonsta 8
Take his car then...?
luckyd880 12
If that was an option I'm sure op would have thought of it. His dad prob took it with him on holiday. Or even if he didn't it sounds like his dad likes to hold onto all the keys so if he did leave his car chances are he has the keys too. But op could take a bus, taxi/subway (if in the city) or ask a friend or neighbor for a ride. It's not convenient but it will get him from A to B until he can wait for his dad to get back or figure something else out. Sounds like he's gonna be late if he doesn't hurry though!
Sidel 11
Maybe it's the key to the house? I think that would be a bigger issue...
Meettitan 14
He should figure out how to open bottles with a lighter. Such a handy trick.
luckyd880 12
Have him ship them to you
TheElderTROLLZ 15
We all need our alcohol...
highonlife10 0
Get him his own bottle opener for his birthday or somthing
Trisha_aus 15
Why not just buy him a bottle opener..are those the only ones you have around? That sucks but next time watch out
nepa1234 7
Time for you to head out for a picnic/ holidays with your own buddies !!
Keevarou 17
At least you know where your keys are now.. Instead of misplacing it? FYL though, you should get him a bottle opener for birthday?^_^
jayisacooter 1
Haha - love him - hope he drinks A LOT!!!!
cajekraze 7
If you're old enough to need a bottle opener, you shouldn't be living with your parents. Grow up and move out if you want to avoid these situations
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes, because EVERY young adult has the money to rent an apartment and live on his own./s I think YOU should grow a brain. You shouldn't dictate someone's life due to the circumstances OP goes through. Plus, many people still live with their parents to save money on rent.
The_Hitdude 12
THE_A_TEEN: There has been a lot of ignorance on FML recently. It's like an epidemic. Hopefully it passes soon.
DasHaas 9
You mean at around 12 when bottle openers can help you get the cap off your coke? Isn't that kinda young to be living on your own?
fadingfaith 4
Bottle openers aren't just for alcohol... A lot of soft drinks are also served in bottles too.