Today, late for work, I called my dad to see if he knew where my keys were. Turns out he'd taken them on holiday with him because they have a bottle opener on them. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I couldn't get to work because I couldn't find my car keys. It turns out, my mother took them and put them "somewhere safe." She can't remember where they are. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I was over at a friend's place until very late. He had stolen my keys as a joke at some point, but by the time I noticed, he was too drunk to remember where he'd hidden them. FML
Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting three hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML
Today, I arrived to work at exactly 8 so I could leave at exactly 5, without overtime. I found out later that my brother took my keys with him somewhere and now I can't enter the house until he gets back at 11. FML
Today, I was running late for an important job interview because I couldn't find my keys. I place the keys on my kitchen counter every day to prevent exactly this type of situation. After few minutes and missing my interview, I finally found my keys, in my hand. FML
Today, I couldn't find the keys to open the store I work at. The resulting stress gave me chest pains that ended up sending me to the hospital. I still missed work and my father found the keys under the passenger seat in his car. The same seat I sat in on the way to the hospital. FML
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Top comments
4everblackjack 10
Well then, I suggest checking into a very expensive hotel under his name/credit card >:D
2oc 5
That's just uncanny...
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Comments (122)
hornetsbaseball 6
Bottle openers are a valuable item! I don't blame him!
Keyboard_Cat 2
Take his car because it serves as a battering ram. That'll show him.
eatpussy 0
Well just forget about it, sit back and open a bottle of cha.. Nvm.
Angelrose2004 17
Buy him his own bottle opener. I know it's not OP's responsibility; but it's worth the couple of dollars to not have to worry about your keys being hijacked again.
Pentium_4 27
i'm sorry but if you don't have ANY spare keys then YDI
tymarie2012 31
How is it OPs fault? She didn't know her dad was going to steal her keys just for the bottle opener. If anyone's at fault it's her dads. He easily could have taken the bottle opener off.
Jirekianu2 19
Damn, man. "You didn't have moose insurance you deserve it." "I LIVE IN ARIZONA." "Doesn't matter YDI."
bizarre_ftw 22
Oh those moose.. mice.... Mooses? Either way, cupcake
courtz94 24
Well that sucks..he should have asked first.
idontknowyou123 0
Mmmmmmmm beer
gonad_gobbler 1
Op, I can tell you have a lot of feelings bottled up, but remaining calm is key.
luckyd880 12
All bottled up. If only op had a bottle opener to.....oooh nvm.
bdubbstheman 5
He's a dumbass
wlddog 14
Gotta have those bottle openers. You can always hitch hike.